![BigJimsWornOutTires](/data/avatars/l/12/12336.jpg?1622208145)
BigJimsWornOutTires
Kraken
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
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So there are these gnats in my area. I'm an immaculate man. I keep my penis washed and polished. Yes! I polish it. Wouldn't you for a magnificent shaft of beautiful craftsmanship? But it seems these particular gnats are out to get me. Yes, feds! I'm now paranoid. So I went ahead and did the UNTHINKABLE—gluey sticks. Rolls of Sticky Fly Trap Paper Yellow Fruit Flies Insect Glue Catchers. But I couldn't get the motherfuckers in the right position! So I ended up TOUCHING THE TAPE! Snappers.
So here I am with sticky fingers. I've tried soap, rubbing alcohol, and toothpaste but not fingernail polish remover because I'm not a faggot. You wouldn't catch me dead putting that shit on any part of my masculine 'gift for women' body.
Luckily, as I was typing this, I noticed something out of the ordinary—my fingers aren't sticking to the keys. They're dry! False alarm.
But there's a gnat still taunting me.
So here I am with sticky fingers. I've tried soap, rubbing alcohol, and toothpaste but not fingernail polish remover because I'm not a faggot. You wouldn't catch me dead putting that shit on any part of my masculine 'gift for women' body.
Luckily, as I was typing this, I noticed something out of the ordinary—my fingers aren't sticking to the keys. They're dry! False alarm.
![celebrate hell yeah GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine celebrate hell yeah GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine](/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia2.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2Fl4JySAWfMaY7w88sU%2F200.gif&hash=9a29c1d323a3109ff31d322c8d760034)
But there's a gnat still taunting me.
![Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office](/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia3.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FdKOlmnaAMtzJwEE9V8%2F200.gif&hash=72188b99b6dfe2ca153c313a4ef1846a)