If Master Roshi joined Looksmax.org

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Yo, fellow looksmaxxers! Name's Master Roshi, the Turtle Hermit himself. Yeah, that's right, the legendary martial arts master from that Dragon Ball show or whatever you kids call it these days. I've been lurking on this forum for a bit, but I finally decided to sign up 'cause I'm tired of getting mogged left and right. Let me spill the beans on my stats – it's brutal out here for an old timer like me.


First off, the baldness. I've been rocking this shiny dome since forever. No hairline recession, just straight-up zero follicles. I tried comb-overs back in the day, but who am I kidding? It looks like a polished turtle shell up there. Women take one look and recoil like they've seen a ghost. "Eww, grandpa alert!" they say. Bro, I'm not even that old... okay, maybe I am, but still! I've heard about minoxidil and finasteride on here – worth a shot? Or should I just embrace the Mr. Clean vibe and go for that "wise sage" halo?


Then there's my height. I'm like 5'5" on a good day, and that's with my shell adding a couple inches. Short king? More like short peasant. I get heightmogged by everyone – Goku, Krillin, even that damn pig Oolong towers over me sometimes. Girls laugh when I try to approach; they pat me on the head like I'm a lost puppy. "Aww, cute little man!" Cute? I'm the strongest fighter on Earth (back in my prime, anyway)! But nah, they want those 6'2" Chads with infinite leg room. Been reading about lifts and posturemaxxing – any tips for a stubby geezer?


And don't get me started on my jawline. Or lack thereof. It's like my chin decided to peace out decades ago. No sharp angles, just a soft, recessed blob that makes me look like a melting ice cream cone. Mewing? Too late for that; I've been chomping on senzu beans, not gum. Women see my profile and it's instant disgust – "Ugh, weak genetics!" Like, excuse me for not being born with Vegeta's bone structure. I've been gymmaxxing forever, but it doesn't fix the face. Considering bonesmashing or some blackpill surgery recs?


The real blackpill, though? These women shaming me for my... appreciations. I'm just a healthy, red-blooded martial artist with an eye for the ladies! But every time I show a little interest – a harmless nosebleed here, a polite request for a peek there – they act like I'm the villain. "Pervert! Creep! How dare you objectify us!" Objectify? Honey, I'm celebrating! Back in my day, a little flirtation was part of the fun, but now it's all "toxic masculinity" this and "consent" that. They shame me for being attracted, call me disgusting for my urges. It's not fair – I'm not hurting anyone! Just admiring the scenery. Society's gone soft; no respect for a master's libido anymore.


But here's the plan, boys: I'm done coping. No more incel tears for this hermit. I'm gonna gather the seven Dragon Balls – yeah, those magical orbs that grant any wish. Been training for this my whole life. Once I summon Shenron, boom: a harem of 72 fresh, 18-year-old virgins, all lined up and ready to appreciate a true legend. No more rejections, no more height checks or jaw audits. Just paradise on my island, with bikinis, beaches, and zero judgment. Who's with me? Any of you got Dragon Radar tips or looksmax strats to tide me over till then?


Rate my potential/10 post-wish. And hit me with advice – let's ascend together!