greycrusader
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2026
- Posts
- 5
- Reputation
- 4
i can't with the disgusted look on people's faces when i try to talk to them, i hate the way my lips look when i talk. im in a foreign country, its my first year in university, i don't know a single person in the university, i don't like talking because i hate my voice, my face, i feel bad for them because they have to see me, when absolutely need to talk i try to make it as short and simple as possible, i don't know what's gonna happen to me if i keep living like this. deep inside im scared that i might die without ever being loved and cherished but i don't wanna do anything about it because how does anyone expect me to force a girl to waste her time with me when she can be with someone good looking, intelligent and so on. Ugly or not any girl deserves to experience love by some confident sure of himself guy, not someone like me who has low self-esteem, insecure and ugly. I genuinely don't see how it would be fair, whenever i see a girl i instantly reject myself in my mind because i want them to be someone they like, not someone they were forced to like, but i wanna be loved too, i guess i just wait until the impossible happens and some girl becomes interested in me, which might intrigue me or whatever and be excited but like in the only few relationships I've been in, eventually insecurity catches up to me and i pull myself away from them. I had a pet that died last year april 21st, since then i realized how much i needed love, i was healthy, muscular and clear minded when i had my pet, i didn't realize how much loved i felt because of my pet until he was gone. i really have nothing left to lose, I've been distracting myself ever since because i couldn't handle the grief
