Deleted member 7173
Virgin 6'2 Pretty boy Mogger (Look at AVI and see)
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I tell my son, "People who smoke weed are losers." What is your response?
Answer (1 of 79): I have depression. It's never been clinically diagnosed but I know from talking to others who suffer the same as me that I do. I have days where I'll just lay in bed, because I have no reason to get out. I'll just not eat for a day or two at a time, cause I have no appetite; I'l...
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Before I get too ahead of myself, let me backtrack. I first tried cannabis about a year ago, and had a brilliant time. It was (as sad as it may seem) one of the best moments of my life - experiencing sensations and feelings for the first time, like a newborn discovering a new sense. Oh the food, the music, the giggles. I'm sure others can relate.
Anyway, I quickly decided to replace alcohol with pot - it's a much more enjoyable high and a far less harmful substance. I never abused either, and I'm talking about once a month on average - far from addicted. Just having fun every so often. I refused to take it more often than that, because I believe that the root of many addictions is people trying to escape a miserable reality - heroin is rife in homeless communities because of the bliss and warmth it provides to those who have nothing else.
Basically, I went into it with one rule - this would not be an escape from reality. I'd deal with life just the same as before, both the good and the bad times. didn't want to use it to 'fix' my problems. But that changed one day.
My friends and I were supposed to be meeting for a catch-up down the pub. I don't drink, but was looking forward to it for most of the day anyway, as a chance to chat and have a laugh. Then an hour before I planned to go, a depressive episode hit me, and for about two hours I was sitting alone, thinking myself into a darker and darker state of mind until I was on the floor in tears just mumbling 'I wish I was dead…’
So I'm already late for the meetup, and I don't like being late. But I just couldn't face going outside, putting on a happy facade and pretending everything was fine. And I was genuinely worried that my suicidal thoughts would get the best of me.
So what did I do? I broke my one rule.
I use a dry herb vaporiser because it's small, convenient and efficient. I could have one hit or ten without issue, relieving the potential pressure to finish smoking a full joint. So I pull myself up off the floor, and have two hits of my vape. Just barely enough for me to feel the effects, but no red eyes, munchies or sleepiness. Basically microdosing.
And that was it. I didn't feel 'high', I felt normal. Back to a comfortable, non-suicidal baseline. I went to the pub and had a great time; chatted with friends as they drank, feeling like everything was fine. Went home at 1am, woke the next day feeling great.
That was three weeks ago. I haven't felt as depressed as that since. Indeed, I feel fantastic. So what changed? Nothing. Apart from my mindset.
I realised something that night. Two of my friends are on prescribed anti-depressants, as is very common in the UK. They seem to get on with them fine, but taking that stuff daily has its share of side effects, something I'm unwilling to do. And yet, there I was, taking another drug to have the same end result as theirs - curing depression. Up until that moment, for over a year, I'd seen cannabis as a recreational substance - something to use and abuse like alcohol. But sitting in that pub, I realised it was a medicine. An incredibly safe, convenient, effective medicine.
No negative side effects. No daily pill regimen. Very quick to kick in. Very easy to dose to my needs in the moment. That stuff is incredible.
Which takes me back to the original question - “people who smoke weed are losers”, but people taking drugs to cure illnesses is considered perfectly fine when it's prescribed?
…Why? Why is one okay, while the other is immoral. Why would I be 'better' in the eyes of society if I just joined in with thousands of others on anti-depressants, rather than curing myself? Why does me wanting to improve my life have such a stigma attached to it?
In some ways, I was more of a 'loser' before pot. Unmotivated, introverted, suicidal. If you attached those traits to a stoner, I'd see where you're coming from. But for me it has had the opposite effect. I'm getting on with my life better than ever - working hard in multiple jobs, making new friendships and relationships. I've gone from moping about with no direction to feeling like I can take on the world. And that's not just because I'm high all the time, quite the opposite. I use about a gram in the space of a couple of months - about £10, which is a tiny fraction of what many will smoke. Not far off the cost of a prescription of a cocktail of pills that would be far less effective.
So you tell me, am I more of a loser now than I was?
UK prohibition laws mean that I'm safest if I keep this answer anonymous, which is a shame because I'd love to discuss it with others. I sincerely hope the rest of the civilised world follows Canada and the US, so that others can heal themselves without fear of ruining their lives.