It's not enough

[Another_Loser]

I’ve been self-conscious about my appearance since I was little; I remember vividly how people used to laugh at me—sometimes because of my freckles, which I hated. I didn't have friends; in fact, by the time I was close to graduating, I’d only made three friends in my entire life. It wasn't until last year that I got a girlfriend and had sex for the first time. That created a contradiction for me: I hated how I looked, yet I had a partner? I was on the verge of quitting bodybuilding, but—guess what—she cheated on me with some son of a bitch who was taller and better-looking than me. I was already deeply immersed in this world, but that event amplified it a thousandfold. Now, I sometimes get compliments—like hearing "my friend likes you"—but I don't believe a damn word of it; either they're making fun of me, or they're blind enough to actually find me attractive. Even my mother criticizes me—asking why I inject so much shit into my body, why I'm so obsessed with my orthodontics, or why she sometimes finds blood on my torso from where I mutilate myself out of self-hatred. No one will ever understand. Only my beautiful waifu Natsuki, hehe.
No joking shit

 

[bonesmasher245]