BlackPillChad
Taking the Yellow Pill
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2019
- Posts
- 657
- Reputation
- 992
Intro:
“Everything I thought I couldn’t do, eventually became easy to do”
– Ajimu Najimi
Yesterday I made a thread titled Social Anxiety is Killing You. Now I am going to make a followup thread. I warn you that this is literally the extreme physical therapy of social ability. If you read and say this is a waste of time, then you are not the intended audience. This is to teach people to do the social equivalent of crawling.
Goals:
Go to the grocery store and buy an item.
Call a therapist and schedule an appointment.
Go to the appointment you scheduled (optional).
Cancel the appointment you scheduled (optional).
If you can already do these things you don’t need to do this program.
Method:
The technique that we will be using is Exposure Therapy. It is highly recommended that you learn how it works:
Rules:
1.) Do the drills in the order they are presented. Do not try to do more than what is in the drill. Do not be ashamed if the drill seems like it is way too simple. Feel free to break these up into even smaller pieces if you want.
2.) Don’t skip drills or days, but you are welcome (and encouraged) to repeat them as much as you want. If you have to do Day 3 twenty times before you feel comfortable doing it, then that is what I want you to do. I want you to become bored by what used to scare you.
3.) You are allowed to disregard drills that are completely unrelated to your anxiety. If you can go to the grocery store, don’t do the drills related to going outside. If you can talk on the phone, don’t do the drills related to talking on the phone.
3.) Once you commit to this, you must log your experiences in the OffTopic subforum. This will help you with motivation, commitment, and achievement, and self reflection.
4.) Once you are done you must share the guide with three people who you think need it if you felt it helped you.
Drills:
I warn you beforehand that some of these might seem easy or silly. Do them anyway.
Schedule:
I warn you, you are going to have to have to devote a significant amount of time to this. Repetition and gradual increase in difficulty is the key to desensitize you to anxiety, it's a bit like weightlifting that way. If you are getting bored that means it is working.
Afterword:
Congratulations. You did it and are lightyears ahead of where you were. It’s up to you whether to follow through on the therapy appointment. If you had to complete this guide, I suggest you do it if you have the money to spare for a session. If your therapist is useless though you can design your own continuation to these exercises using the same principles I used to design this one.
Keep a lookout for the followup, which will be aimed at people with a much lesser degree of social anxiety, and probably more useful to most members of the forum. (Can do at least 5 items on GLL's Social Anxiety Test).
Credits:
“Everything I thought I couldn’t do, eventually became easy to do”
– Ajimu Najimi
Yesterday I made a thread titled Social Anxiety is Killing You. Now I am going to make a followup thread. I warn you that this is literally the extreme physical therapy of social ability. If you read and say this is a waste of time, then you are not the intended audience. This is to teach people to do the social equivalent of crawling.
Goals:
Go to the grocery store and buy an item.
Call a therapist and schedule an appointment.
Go to the appointment you scheduled (optional).
Cancel the appointment you scheduled (optional).
If you can already do these things you don’t need to do this program.
Method:
The technique that we will be using is Exposure Therapy. It is highly recommended that you learn how it works:
This video is a good video to watch to learn about it:
If you would rather read, this is the same information:
If you would rather read, this is the same information:
Rules:
1.) Do the drills in the order they are presented. Do not try to do more than what is in the drill. Do not be ashamed if the drill seems like it is way too simple. Feel free to break these up into even smaller pieces if you want.
2.) Don’t skip drills or days, but you are welcome (and encouraged) to repeat them as much as you want. If you have to do Day 3 twenty times before you feel comfortable doing it, then that is what I want you to do. I want you to become bored by what used to scare you.
3.) You are allowed to disregard drills that are completely unrelated to your anxiety. If you can go to the grocery store, don’t do the drills related to going outside. If you can talk on the phone, don’t do the drills related to talking on the phone.
3.) Once you commit to this, you must log your experiences in the OffTopic subforum. This will help you with motivation, commitment, and achievement, and self reflection.
4.) Once you are done you must share the guide with three people who you think need it if you felt it helped you.
Drills:
I warn you beforehand that some of these might seem easy or silly. Do them anyway.
Going Outside Drills:
- House Lap: Open the front door and walk around the outside of your house or apartment.
- Short Walk: Walk some distance from your residence, but keep it in sight. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Parkinglot Walk: Go to the parking-lot of the nearest grocerystore. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Grocery Store Entrance: Go inside the nearest grocery store and immediately walk out. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Grocery Store Lap: Go inside the nearest grocery store. Walk inside and go down three aisles. Leave. You don’t have to interact with anyone, but you should be able to tolerate the presence of people and make eye contact (this is what the Youtube Eye Contacts were for).
- Environment Exploration: Go inside a store you haven’t been in yet and walk around a bit.
Talking on the phone drills:
- Empty Dials: Take your phone and dial a random phone number, but don’t actually call it.
- Pizza Hangup: Take your phone and dial the number of a Pizza Hut across the country from you. You will probably get an automated response (this is what I got when I tested this drill). If you do, try to listen to it. If it a human, just hang up.
- Pizza Hangup Boogaloo: Take your phone and dial the number of a different Pizza Hut across the country from you. If you get a remote operator, listen to the options and speak to a human. When you reach a human, listen to their first sentence and tell them you would like to order a pizza. After you are done listening to their followup question, you can either just hang up or tell them that you changed your mind. You should pick a different delivery restaurant each time, because eventually they will stop answering. If you are feeling that this is too easy after doing it a few times, try answering more questions before hanging up on them.
- Pizza Conversations: Call a local Pizza Delivery place. Order a pizza if you have the money. If you don’t, cancel the order after you are finished describing it. If you don’t want to talk to the delivery guy in person, you can pay over the phone and ask them to leave it outside.
Holding Eye Contact Drills:
- Youtube Eye Contacts: Complete Round 1 of this Eye Contact Practice video. Once you can complete Round 1 while feeling very little anxiety, move up to Round 2. once you can complete Round 2 with very little anxiety, move up to Round 3. Once you can complete Round 3 with very little anxiety, you can make eye contact with strangers on the street (you don't have to hold it).
.
- House Lap: Open the front door and walk around the outside of your house or apartment.
- Short Walk: Walk some distance from your residence, but keep it in sight. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Parkinglot Walk: Go to the parking-lot of the nearest grocerystore. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Grocery Store Entrance: Go inside the nearest grocery store and immediately walk out. You don’t have to interact with anyone.
- Grocery Store Lap: Go inside the nearest grocery store. Walk inside and go down three aisles. Leave. You don’t have to interact with anyone, but you should be able to tolerate the presence of people and make eye contact (this is what the Youtube Eye Contacts were for).
- Environment Exploration: Go inside a store you haven’t been in yet and walk around a bit.
Talking on the phone drills:
- Empty Dials: Take your phone and dial a random phone number, but don’t actually call it.
- Pizza Hangup: Take your phone and dial the number of a Pizza Hut across the country from you. You will probably get an automated response (this is what I got when I tested this drill). If you do, try to listen to it. If it a human, just hang up.
- Pizza Hangup Boogaloo: Take your phone and dial the number of a different Pizza Hut across the country from you. If you get a remote operator, listen to the options and speak to a human. When you reach a human, listen to their first sentence and tell them you would like to order a pizza. After you are done listening to their followup question, you can either just hang up or tell them that you changed your mind. You should pick a different delivery restaurant each time, because eventually they will stop answering. If you are feeling that this is too easy after doing it a few times, try answering more questions before hanging up on them.
- Pizza Conversations: Call a local Pizza Delivery place. Order a pizza if you have the money. If you don’t, cancel the order after you are finished describing it. If you don’t want to talk to the delivery guy in person, you can pay over the phone and ask them to leave it outside.
Holding Eye Contact Drills:
- Youtube Eye Contacts: Complete Round 1 of this Eye Contact Practice video. Once you can complete Round 1 while feeling very little anxiety, move up to Round 2. once you can complete Round 2 with very little anxiety, move up to Round 3. Once you can complete Round 3 with very little anxiety, you can make eye contact with strangers on the street (you don't have to hold it).
.
Schedule:
I warn you, you are going to have to have to devote a significant amount of time to this. Repetition and gradual increase in difficulty is the key to desensitize you to anxiety, it's a bit like weightlifting that way. If you are getting bored that means it is working.
Day 1:
- Make a thread in the Offtopic forum committing to doing this, and log your progress.
Day 2:
- 5 House Laps. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact. Keep doing these every day until you master them
Day 3:
- 10 House Laps
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 4:
- 5 House Laps. On the final House Lap, do a Short Walk without going inside first
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 5:
- 1 House Lap immediately followed by 1 Short Walk (don’t go inside in between these). Repeat this 5 times
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 6:
- 5 Short Walks. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 7:
-10 Short Walks
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 8:
- 5 Short Walks. On the final Short Walk, go to the Parkinglot of your grocery store
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 9:
- 1 Short Walk immediately followed by 1 Parkinglot Walk (don’t go inside in between these). Repeat this 5 times
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 10:
- 5 Parkinglot Walks. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 11:
- 10 Parkinglot Walks
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 12:
- 5 Parkinglot Walks. On the final Parkinglot Walk, go do a Grocery Store Entrance.
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 13:
- 5 Grocery Store Entrances. You have to go inside after each one
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 14:
- 10 Grocery Store Entrances
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 15:
- 5 Grocery Store Entrances. On the final Grocery Store Entrance, do a Grocery Store Lap
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 16:
- 5 Grocery Store Laps
- 5 Empty Dials
- 1 Pizza Hangup
Day 17:
- 10 Grocery Store Laps
- 5 Pizza Hangups
Day 17:
- 5 Grocery Store Laps
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 10 Pizza Hangups
Day 18:
- 5 Environment Explorations
- 5 Pizza Hangups
- 1 Pizza Hangup Boogaloo
Day 19:
- 10 Environment Explorations
- 5 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
Day 20:
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 10 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
Day 21:
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 5 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
- 1 Pizza Conversation
You are Ready:
Call a therapist and schedule an appointment for Social Anxiety.
Afterwards, go to the grocery store and buy an item.
- Make a thread in the Offtopic forum committing to doing this, and log your progress.
Day 2:
- 5 House Laps. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact. Keep doing these every day until you master them
Day 3:
- 10 House Laps
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 4:
- 5 House Laps. On the final House Lap, do a Short Walk without going inside first
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 5:
- 1 House Lap immediately followed by 1 Short Walk (don’t go inside in between these). Repeat this 5 times
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 6:
- 5 Short Walks. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 7:
-10 Short Walks
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 8:
- 5 Short Walks. On the final Short Walk, go to the Parkinglot of your grocery store
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 9:
- 1 Short Walk immediately followed by 1 Parkinglot Walk (don’t go inside in between these). Repeat this 5 times
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 10:
- 5 Parkinglot Walks. You have to go inside after each one
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 11:
- 10 Parkinglot Walks
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 12:
- 5 Parkinglot Walks. On the final Parkinglot Walk, go do a Grocery Store Entrance.
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 13:
- 5 Grocery Store Entrances. You have to go inside after each one
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 14:
- 10 Grocery Store Entrances
- 1 Youtube Eye Contact
Day 15:
- 5 Grocery Store Entrances. On the final Grocery Store Entrance, do a Grocery Store Lap
- 5 Empty Dials
Day 16:
- 5 Grocery Store Laps
- 5 Empty Dials
- 1 Pizza Hangup
Day 17:
- 10 Grocery Store Laps
- 5 Pizza Hangups
Day 17:
- 5 Grocery Store Laps
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 10 Pizza Hangups
Day 18:
- 5 Environment Explorations
- 5 Pizza Hangups
- 1 Pizza Hangup Boogaloo
Day 19:
- 10 Environment Explorations
- 5 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
Day 20:
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 10 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
Day 21:
- 1 Environment Exploration
- 5 Pizza Hangup Boogaloos
- 1 Pizza Conversation
You are Ready:
Call a therapist and schedule an appointment for Social Anxiety.
Afterwards, go to the grocery store and buy an item.
Afterword:
Congratulations. You did it and are lightyears ahead of where you were. It’s up to you whether to follow through on the therapy appointment. If you had to complete this guide, I suggest you do it if you have the money to spare for a session. If your therapist is useless though you can design your own continuation to these exercises using the same principles I used to design this one.
Keep a lookout for the followup, which will be aimed at people with a much lesser degree of social anxiety, and probably more useful to most members of the forum. (Can do at least 5 items on GLL's Social Anxiety Test).
Credits:
I patterned this off of GLL’s Approach Anxiety Guide, applied to a much higher level of inhibition.
www.goodlookingloser.com
www.goodlookingloser.com
These resources on Exposure Therapy helped me design the drills and schedule:
Approach Anxiety Program
Good Looking Loser is the Hardcore Self-Improvement Blog- includes information about getting laid, male enhancement, performance-enhancing drugs and more.
Do You Have Social Anxiety? (A 25 Item Checklist to Measure Your Social Anxiety)
Do you have social anxiety? Here's a checklist and test to figure out if you do and how bad it really is
These resources on Exposure Therapy helped me design the drills and schedule:
