thecel
narrow-orbits brachy-skull ogre
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TL;DR: Following numerous campaign ideas that weren't put into action because of my laziness, I attempted to maxx my chance to win high school Homecoming Duke with a fake school bell prank as a publicity stunt. Unfortunately, all that did was get my name taken off the ballot.
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In the spring of my freshman year of high school, I got invited to Quora's Partner Program, in which I could earn money by asking questions on the site. It was easy money, so I got started right away. I connected it to a friend's bank account because I didn't have my own.
Initially, I wanted to make enough money to buy a replacement for my phone, which I had lost at school, before my parents found out. But my dad soon found out that I lost my phone, so my plan was ruined.
I didn't know what I'd use the money for until the summer after freshman year. I reflected on how shitty the school year had been—how I got rejected by so many girls, how I was too high-inhib to go to the homecoming dance, how I got B's and C's on my report card, and how I studied so much that I didn't have a life.
That's when I got the idea to STATUSMAX, and the first thing I had to do is win homecoming court in 10th grade.
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My high school's Homecoming football game and dance take place in late October. Before the dance and the game, the school does a Homecoming parade. To be in the parade, you have to play a sport, be in a club, be in the band or orchestra, or be a homecoming nominee (you don't even have to win, you just have to get nominated). If you're a member of a club, you get to walk on the road, but sports teams and homecoming nominees get to stand in the back of a flatbed truck, which was way cooler than just walking. This is the ultimate statusmax.
The homecoming court members are named the following:
So that's what I planned on spending my Quora money on. I wanted to bulk-order wristbands, lanyards, pins, etc. This merch was going to be just one part of a very big campaign that was supposed to mog the shit out of other candidates' low-quality posters.
Another component of my campaign was going to be online ads. Everyone at school used the GradePro app on their phones to access their grades, and many students even paid a monthly subscription for GradePro Premium that had features like GPA and assignment grade calculators. Since no such thing existed as a desktop site, I wanted to make a new website where students could check their grades with all the advanced features of GradePro Premium but free. If I made the site, it could blow up and get several hundred users (out of the 2,900 students at school) very quickly. And I was going to place ads for my candidacy for Homecoming Duke all over this website.
That is, IF I MADE THE SITE. I’d been programmer-maxxing since I was 9, but during the summer I was severely willpower-minned, and I never even started developing the website.
On the bright side, I did have enough willpower to Photoshopmax promotional material in August that I posted on my Instagram page after telling my classmates I was running for Duke:
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I didn't really do much to develop my campaign until Homecoming court nominations in early October. The same guy who held on to my Quora money convinced 3 classrooms of people to nominate me, and surprisingly that was enough votes to get me nominated. My opponents were 2 high-tier normies, one of which was the Homecoming Lord in my freshman year.
By early October, I had made about $250 from the Quora Partner Program. I asked my friend to let me use the money to bulk-order a bunch of custom-made merchandise, but he refused. (Before you say he ripped me off, we're now using the money to invest in stocks.)
I came up with the idea of putting heart-shaped chocolates into these fancy little paper boxes I had at home and getting a girl to put them in the girls' locker room to gain myself some support among the foids. However, I didn't know any girls who would be willing to do that for me, so the plan didn't happen.
I was running out of time. I got nominated, but I didn't do any of the stuff I planned on doing as part of my epic campaign to secure the crown. So, as a publicity stunt, I made a fake bell sound effect that sounded exactly like the real school bell. I uploaded it to YouTube and made a website just for it. I got people to play the sound in class to make the whole class get up and leave. It was hilarious. I did it once in homeroom, and everyone just left, and the teacher was confused.
I played the sound again in a different class, but this time the teacher figured out it was me, and he wrote me up.
I didn't care about getting in trouble, because after school a bunch of kids were talking about the fake bell prank. They said it was cool and stuff like that.
I hoped the stunt would help me win Homecoming Duke, but a few days later one of the Deans called me out of class. She told me I had been disqualified from Homecoming court because I got written up. That was donkey ass. I did all that work to get clout, but it backfired.
You know what happened though? The Homecoming parade was cancelled because it rained. JFL
As for the dance, I stupidly procrastinated until the last day that Homecoming dance tickets were sold, and I forgot to bring money that day to buy one (not two, because I didn't have a girlfriend, obviously).
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So, yeah. I tried to statusmax, but I ended up retardmaxxed.
----------
In the spring of my freshman year of high school, I got invited to Quora's Partner Program, in which I could earn money by asking questions on the site. It was easy money, so I got started right away. I connected it to a friend's bank account because I didn't have my own.
Initially, I wanted to make enough money to buy a replacement for my phone, which I had lost at school, before my parents found out. But my dad soon found out that I lost my phone, so my plan was ruined.
I didn't know what I'd use the money for until the summer after freshman year. I reflected on how shitty the school year had been—how I got rejected by so many girls, how I was too high-inhib to go to the homecoming dance, how I got B's and C's on my report card, and how I studied so much that I didn't have a life.
That's when I got the idea to STATUSMAX, and the first thing I had to do is win homecoming court in 10th grade.
----------
My high school's Homecoming football game and dance take place in late October. Before the dance and the game, the school does a Homecoming parade. To be in the parade, you have to play a sport, be in a club, be in the band or orchestra, or be a homecoming nominee (you don't even have to win, you just have to get nominated). If you're a member of a club, you get to walk on the road, but sports teams and homecoming nominees get to stand in the back of a flatbed truck, which was way cooler than just walking. This is the ultimate statusmax.
The homecoming court members are named the following:
- Freshmen: Lord, Lady
- Sophomore: Duke, Duchess
- Junior: Prince, Princess
- Senior: King, Queen
So that's what I planned on spending my Quora money on. I wanted to bulk-order wristbands, lanyards, pins, etc. This merch was going to be just one part of a very big campaign that was supposed to mog the shit out of other candidates' low-quality posters.
Another component of my campaign was going to be online ads. Everyone at school used the GradePro app on their phones to access their grades, and many students even paid a monthly subscription for GradePro Premium that had features like GPA and assignment grade calculators. Since no such thing existed as a desktop site, I wanted to make a new website where students could check their grades with all the advanced features of GradePro Premium but free. If I made the site, it could blow up and get several hundred users (out of the 2,900 students at school) very quickly. And I was going to place ads for my candidacy for Homecoming Duke all over this website.
That is, IF I MADE THE SITE. I’d been programmer-maxxing since I was 9, but during the summer I was severely willpower-minned, and I never even started developing the website.
On the bright side, I did have enough willpower to Photoshopmax promotional material in August that I posted on my Instagram page after telling my classmates I was running for Duke:
----------
I didn't really do much to develop my campaign until Homecoming court nominations in early October. The same guy who held on to my Quora money convinced 3 classrooms of people to nominate me, and surprisingly that was enough votes to get me nominated. My opponents were 2 high-tier normies, one of which was the Homecoming Lord in my freshman year.
By early October, I had made about $250 from the Quora Partner Program. I asked my friend to let me use the money to bulk-order a bunch of custom-made merchandise, but he refused. (Before you say he ripped me off, we're now using the money to invest in stocks.)
I came up with the idea of putting heart-shaped chocolates into these fancy little paper boxes I had at home and getting a girl to put them in the girls' locker room to gain myself some support among the foids. However, I didn't know any girls who would be willing to do that for me, so the plan didn't happen.
I was running out of time. I got nominated, but I didn't do any of the stuff I planned on doing as part of my epic campaign to secure the crown. So, as a publicity stunt, I made a fake bell sound effect that sounded exactly like the real school bell. I uploaded it to YouTube and made a website just for it. I got people to play the sound in class to make the whole class get up and leave. It was hilarious. I did it once in homeroom, and everyone just left, and the teacher was confused.
I played the sound again in a different class, but this time the teacher figured out it was me, and he wrote me up.
I didn't care about getting in trouble, because after school a bunch of kids were talking about the fake bell prank. They said it was cool and stuff like that.
I hoped the stunt would help me win Homecoming Duke, but a few days later one of the Deans called me out of class. She told me I had been disqualified from Homecoming court because I got written up. That was donkey ass. I did all that work to get clout, but it backfired.
You know what happened though? The Homecoming parade was cancelled because it rained. JFL
As for the dance, I stupidly procrastinated until the last day that Homecoming dance tickets were sold, and I forgot to bring money that day to buy one (not two, because I didn't have a girlfriend, obviously).
----------
So, yeah. I tried to statusmax, but I ended up retardmaxxed.
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