Nobody in my mentalward-group works

[MoggerGaston]

All of them are on welfare, I am the only one with a job.

Brutal mog tbh. They probably get more money than me and don't have to work.

I need to welfare-max asap.

 

[Deleted member 52452]

NEET mogs

 

[MoggerGaston]

NEET mogs

A lot of them have multiple kids and are married etc, feel intense shame for being a bad parent/partner etc.

Glad I am a truecel

 

[Deleted member 52452]

A lot of them have multiple kids and are married etc, feel intense shame for being a bad parent/partner etc.

Glad I am a truecel

so how is shit in the ward, is it chill

 

[MoggerGaston]

so how is shit in the ward, is it chill

yeah man it's chill. I had my first session today.

Kinda feels like primary school, like the things they make you say and do, the games they make you play, what they make you think of.
primary-school vibes. I was shy and anxious at first, but eventually I got relaxed and started feeling good and relaxed socially and got quite open till the point where I was inhibiting myself so that I wasn't becoming too dominant in the group. I didn't want everything to be about me, so I would stay silent so that others could have their turn.

Chill asf. It's very relaxed.
The people that are in my group aren't insane honestly. I was expecting lunatics or something. Complete weirdos.

But they they are just normal people you would meet on the street honestly.
They just seem like depressed 40yo's mostly. Fat, ugly, given up on life, stuck in failed relationship, have kids, hate their life, feel shame for being a parent in their state, etc.

But other than that, they seem like normal people you would meet and interact with. They ain't weirdos or something. They just have serious fucking issues just like me.

I feel sorta above my mental-ward group, like I mog them and don't belong here. But I am trying to focus on myself for this.

I KNOW that I have mental issues, things from the past that haunt me, things that prevent me from enjoying/living life to its fullest.
That's what I am here for. And that's what I am working on. I don't have to compare myself to my mental-ward groupmates other than that we have many similar emotional struggles. And in that way I can vibe just fine with them.

 

[Deleted member 52452]

yeah man it's chill. I had my first session today.

Kinda feels like primary school, like the things they make you say and do, the games they make you play, what they make you think of.
primary-school vibes. I was shy and anxious at first, but eventually I got relaxed and started feeling good and relaxed socially.

Chill asf. It's very relaxed.
The people that are in my group aren't insane honestly. I was expecting lunatics or something. Complete weirdos.

But they they are just normal people you would meet on the street honestly.
They just seem like depressed 40yo's mostly. Fat, ugly, given up on life, stuck in failed relationship, have kids, hate their life, feel shame for being a parent in their state, etc.

But other than that, they seem like normal people you would meet and interact with. They ain't weirdos or something. They just have serious fucking issues just like me.

I feel sorta above my mental-ward group, like I mog them and don't belong here. But I am trying to focus on myself for this.

I KNOW that I have mental issues, things from the past that haunt me, things that prevent me from enjoying/living life to its fullest.
That's what I am here for. And that's what I am working on. I don't have to compare myself to my mental-ward groupmates other than that we have many similar emotional struggles. And in that way I can vibe just fine with them.

Sounds chill and shit, do you think this is helping with your mental health?

 

[Deleted member 52452]

yeah man it's chill. I had my first session today.

Kinda feels like primary school, like the things they make you say and do, the games they make you play, what they make you think of.
primary-school vibes. I was shy and anxious at first, but eventually I got relaxed and started feeling good and relaxed socially and got quite open till the point where I was inhibiting myself so that I wasn't becoming too dominant in the group. I didn't want everything to be about me, so I would stay silent so that others could have their turn.

Chill asf. It's very relaxed.
The people that are in my group aren't insane honestly. I was expecting lunatics or something. Complete weirdos.

But they they are just normal people you would meet on the street honestly.
They just seem like depressed 40yo's mostly. Fat, ugly, given up on life, stuck in failed relationship, have kids, hate their life, feel shame for being a parent in their state, etc.

But other than that, they seem like normal people you would meet and interact with. They ain't weirdos or something. They just have serious fucking issues just like me.

I feel sorta above my mental-ward group, like I mog them and don't belong here. But I am trying to focus on myself for this.

I KNOW that I have mental issues, things from the past that haunt me, things that prevent me from enjoying/living life to its fullest.
That's what I am here for. And that's what I am working on. I don't have to compare myself to my mental-ward groupmates other than that we have many similar emotional struggles. And in that way I can vibe just fine with them.

And do the others see you as kinda an outsider?

 

[WeiWei]

If society has let you have a shit life, it's time to become a leech. What's your job btw?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Sounds chill and shit, do you think this is helping with your mental health?

Impossible to tell.

These are introductory meetings. (6hours/week) I have these for 3 weeks in a row to first determine whether this type of therapy would suit me or not, whether I fit in, etc.
It's mostly to introduce you to this type of therapy, what it is about, how you feel about it, how you act in it, and then conclude whether this is a good fit for you or not. Under supervision of clinical psychologists.

If I/we/they decide it's a good fit, I will be starting proper therapy in early June. Then it will be 20+ hours of therapy per week under supervision of clinical psychologists. This will include 10 hours of group therapy sessions, but also 5+ hours of individual sessions, and 5+ hours of 'drama/verbal' therapy sessions' (not sure what this entails, but it's apparently some sort of act that you do according to how you feel.)


So yeah, it's impossible to tell whether this will have an affect so far.

My current therapist/psychologist told me that 'normal therapy' (this is 45minutes/week in the Netherlands) would likely never be enough to breakthrough to me or have a meaningful impact on my life. This therapist is therefore pushing hard for me to take this opportunity and get proper 20+ hours per week of therapy.


Personally I believe I am somewhere in between. 45mins/week of talking to a proper psychologist which you vibe with, still isn't enough for me to make an impact. So I need more.
And I can vibe with this. I am way too mentally ill for a 45/mins/week session to help me even when it's with a good therapist which I vibe with.
That's reserved for people who have minor mental struggles.

But what's next then? These 20hour/week therapy sessions was suggested to me as being the 'logical next step' over 45min/week sessions.

Look, I don't make the rules.

I personally believe 20hours/week is complete overkill and I just need some sort of 1.5 hours/week normal therapy with a psychologist. Here I can discuss my feelings, my thoughts, my struggles, etc. This is 2x as much as normal therapy (45mins/week). But I've found that 45mins just isn't enough for me. I have so much pain, sadness, struggle in me, I need a damn long time to go through it all per week.

Then on top of that I need some sort of life coach I feel like, for like 2-4 hours per week. Someone who is very practical and can aid me in day-to-day struggles and tasks.

But I don't know. This is not what I was offered. And I can get why because my pain is deep. I am literally PTSD traumatized and struggle hard from childhood failures.

So perhaps it is indeed better to tackle these childhood traumas instead of tackling my present day life issues with a life-coach.





Let's give it a shot.

 

[MoggerGaston]

And do the others see you as kinda an outsider?

too early to tell, so far after this first session: No.

everyone is kinda weird/awkward

 

[Deleted member 52452]

Impossible to tell.

These are introductory meetings. (6hours/week) I have these for 3 weeks in a row to first determine whether this type of therapy would suit me or not, whether I fit in, etc.
It's mostly to introduce you to this type of therapy, what it is about, how you feel about it, how you act in it, and then conclude whether this is a good fit for you or not. Under supervision of clinical psychologists.

If I/we/they decide it's a good fit, I will be starting proper therapy in early June. Then it will be 20+ hours of therapy per week under supervision of clinical psychologists. This will include 10 hours of group therapy sessions, but also 5+ hours of individual sessions, and 5+ hours of 'drama/verbal' therapy sessions' (not sure what this entails, but it's apparently some sort of act that you do according to how you feel.)


So yeah, it's impossible to tell whether this will have an affect so far.

My current therapist/psychologist told me that 'normal therapy' (this is 45minutes/week in the Netherlands) would likely never be enough to breakthrough to me or have a meaningful impact on my life. This therapist is therefore pushing hard for me to take this opportunity and get proper 20+ hours per week of therapy.


Personally I believe I am somewhere in between. 45mins/week of talking to a proper psychologist which you vibe with, still isn't enough for me to make an impact. So I need more.
And I can vibe with this. I am way too mentally ill for a 45/mins/week session to help me even when it's with a good therapist which I vibe with.
That's reserved for people who have minor mental struggles.

But what's next then? These 20hour/week therapy sessions was suggested to me as being the 'logical next step' over 45min/week sessions.

Look, I don't make the rules.

I personally believe 20hours/week is complete overkill and I just need some sort of 1.5 hours/week normal therapy with a psychologist. Here I can discuss my feelings, my thoughts, my struggles, etc. This is 2x as much as normal therapy (45mins/week). But I've found that 45mins just isn't enough for me. I have so much pain, sadness, struggle in me, I need a damn long time to go through it all per week.

Then on top of that I need some sort of life coach I feel like, for like 2-4 hours per week. Someone who is very practical and can aid me in day-to-day struggles and tasks.

But I don't know. This is not what I was offered. And I can get why because my pain is deep. I am literally PTSD traumatized and struggle hard from childhood failures.

So perhaps it is indeed better to tackle these childhood traumas instead of tackling my present day life issues with a life-coach.





Let's give it a shot.

what caused your PTSD? sounds bad, hope you make even small progress to recover

 

[Aladin]

A lot of them have multiple kids and are married etc, feel intense shame for being a bad parent/partner etc.

Glad I am a truecel

We’d be great parents, or at least better than them. Too bad we’ll never have kids.

 

[MoggerGaston]

If society has let you have a shit life, it's time to become a leech. What's your job btw?

I dont disagree. But my job is 12hours/week of customer service interaction.
I don't want to dox myself, because the store I work at is somewhat exclusive and has only a couple of venues in my country.

But basically it entails that I am the first person a customer speaks to, I am the face of the company.
When customers ask me about certain personal demands-measurements on our products, I have been trained to be able to do quick maths and give them a price for what they are asking for. And then I am entailed to fully make the deal without any further supervision/feedback required.

I don't plan on working more than 12hours/week tbh. I feel like this job sorta keeps me in society.
Like hey buddies, I also have a job, I also work, I am one of you

 

[Manletmachine]

We’d be great parents, or at least better than them. Too bad we’ll never have kids.

A great parent doesn’t try and fuck their underaged daughter’s friends, remember that you sick pedophile fuck

 

[MoggerGaston]

what caused your PTSD?

They call my sort of trauma 'c-PTSD'; aka complex-PTSD.
The idea is that you don't have this one single event which caused your trauma, as is the case with normal PTSD, but instead you have a continuous amount of smaller traumatic experiences over a longer period of time.

No you didn't get raped, no you didn't witness your parents die in a car crash, etc. No instead you were subjected to less brutal trauma, but way more frequently.

I don't wan't to go into too much detail here but basically: my parents were terrible to me. On top of that I was bullied and rejected in school/socially. Those 2 factors combined, where you are treated like shit at home, and also don't find any solace in school/anywhere else. That combination has damaged me properly.

I actually looksmaxxed and 'ascended' in 2018 also after finding PSL.

I am capable of getting 'normal' social/romantic interactions with people/women now. Yet the horrors of my past keep haunting me.
I am incapable of enjoying my present life, even when it is good. Even when I have nice social interactions I feel uneasy, I feel unwelcome, I am reminded of my subhuman past and the horrors of it.

This is what I hope to solve.

sounds bad, hope you make even small progress to recover

For real man.

I am a strong man, I can manage my life on my own and tackle any obstacles. I believe in myself.

The reason why I am doing therapy is because I feel like I am doing myself injustice.
I am socially isolating myself because I had terrible social interactions in my childhood.

I know I don't need anyone. I know I can survive and live on myself just fine.

Yet I also believe that I am keeping myself from living life to the fullest. Having nice social/romantic interaction could be an incredible addition to my life quality and life satisfaction.

I don't want to keep myself from living fully satisfactory live. This is the reason why I am in the mental ward. Not because I am some retard who can't live on his own and isn't self-reliant.

 

[MoggerGaston]

@Primalsplit first mental-ward therapy session is in. only gonna get more juicy afterwards, I hope.

 

[Manletmachine]

They call my sort of trauma 'c-PTSD'; aka complex-PTSD.
The idea is that you don't have this one single event which caused your trauma, as is the case with normal PTSD, but instead you have a continuous amount of smaller traumatic experiences over a longer period of time.

No you didn't get raped, no you didn't witness your parents die in a car crash, etc. No instead you were subjected to less brutal trauma, but way more frequently.

I don't wan't to go into too much detail here but basically: my parents were terrible to me. On top of that I was bullied and rejected in school/socially. Those 2 factors combined, where you are treated like shit at home, and also don't find any solace in school/anywhere else. That combination has damaged me properly.

I actually looksmaxxed and 'ascended' in 2018 also after finding PSL.
View attachment 2918794

I am capable of getting 'normal' social/romantic interactions with people/women now. Yet the horrors of my past keep haunting me.
I am incapable of enjoying my present life, even when it is good. Even when I have nice social interactions I feel uneasy, I feel unwelcome, I am reminded of my subhuman past and the horrors of it.

This is what I hope to solve.

For real man.

I am a strong man, I can manage my life on my own and tackle any obstacles. I believe in myself.

The reason why I am doing therapy is because I feel like I am doing myself injustice.
I am socially isolating myself because I had terrible social interactions in my childhood.

I know I don't need anyone. I know I can survive and live on myself just fine.

Yet I also believe that I am keeping myself from living life to the fullest. Having nice social/romantic interaction could be an incredible addition to my life quality and life satisfaction.

I don't want to keep myself from living fully satisfactory live. This is the reason why I am in the mental ward. Not because I am some retard who can't live on his own and isn't self-reliant.

what weight were u in the looksmaxxed photo

 

[MoggerGaston]

We’d be great parents, or at least better than them. Too bad we’ll never have kids.

We'd definitely be better than them. You are having way too high standards of yourself if you think you aren't.
Many complete degenerates breed every day and we mog them to shit.

Surrogacy, based or not?

I am thinking of doing this in the end. I dont think I am capable of attracting the very rare woman still interested in having a family in modern society. Getting surrogacy done in my mid 30s and then raising the kid on my own (with the help of childcare, school system, babysitters, etc.)...

looksmax.org

we can always have kids, and I am taking surrogacy as a serious option at this point. Been talking to a fellow forum member about this too.

Surrogacy is a real consideration over a normal relationship.

 

[MoggerGaston]

A great parent doesn’t try and fuck their underaged daughter’s friends, remember that you sick pedophile fuck

a great parent is happy and shares that happiness with his children. This is the most important.

When a parent is unhappy and on the edge of mental collapse, perhaps fucking their underaged daughter's friends isn't the worst outcome.

Yes it is an unideal situation, but the alternative may be even worse. Stop judging life from this view of perfection, of how everything should be.

In the end most of us are coping with trauma, struggles, etc. This is what makes us human in the end. We are FAR from perfect.
None of us.

Our coping mechanisms are what makes us human.

 

[MoggerGaston]

what weight were u in the looksmaxxed photo

85kg at my leanest and in those pics, 93kg when I am non-lean. (182cm barefoot). I juggle between these 2 weights.

 

[Manletmachine]

85kg at my leanest and in those pics, 93kg when I am non-lean. (182cm barefoot). I juggle between these 2 weights.

Brutal, I’m same height and still look bloated at 79kg

 

[MoggerGaston]

Brutal, I’m same height and still look bloated at 79kg

I have a very wide, deep; big ribcage tbh. It's one of my best physical features.
I look massive in person due to that big ribcage. Very wide and big. Yet I am just fat asf.

In the end I feel ashamed to show my naked body in public.
lower body is a pile of fat, only my upper body looks somewhat nice and strong.

Everyone has their own personal ideas about their body and where they need to be I guess.
Personally I need to lose at least 10kg to feel comfortable being shirtless/naked. But I don't feel completely subhuman at my current 25% bodyfat.

I always vibe well with men. Men never attack me for my high bodyfat, fatty stomache, minor gyno tits, etc. Men just tell me I look strong, fit, they don't want to mess with me.

Only around women do I feel inadequate. Like I need to be way leaner, fitter, stonger, etc. to have a shot with them.

Men never give me this insecurity, men don't judge me this harshly.

 

[MoggerGaston]

bump

rate me @ king's day festival 27th of april. Did I mog?

ended up chilling at daria kolosova's techno set (unreleased footage)

was very good on mephedrone.

Also met an old classmate of mine whom I had a crush on, 5+ years ago, so maybe there's some sort of potential but idk.


hope to have more stories from the ward in the coming weeks. I feel like it would benefit a lot of users here to hear something positive about therapy or the ward in general. And I am hoping it will be positive for me.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Brutal, I’m same height and still look bloated at 79kg

never been 79kg in the past 10 years of my life ngl. Would love to reach it some day.
Do you workout, have some muscle mass ? I weight 85kg at my lightest but I have some reasonable muscle/strength where I mog most people at my local gym.

79kg without muscle u could down to 75kg probably. Or u could focus on getting muscled but keeping the same weight.

 

[Richard Cheese]

This site IS the mumbai mental asylum.

 

[MoggerGaston]

View attachment 2919653
This site IS the mumbai mental asylum.

Video of my daily life:

its very relaxed, i mog u

 

[TechnoBoss]

I have a very wide, deep; big ribcage tbh. It's one of my best physical features.
I look massive in person due to that big ribcage. Very wide and big. Yet I am just fat asf.

In the end I feel ashamed to show my naked body in public.
lower body is a pile of fat, only my upper body looks somewhat nice and strong.

Everyone has their own personal ideas about their body and where they need to be I guess.
Personally I need to lose at least 10kg to feel comfortable being shirtless/naked. But I don't feel completely subhuman at my current 25% bodyfat.

I always vibe well with men. Men never attack me for my high bodyfat, fatty stomache, minor gyno tits, etc. Men just tell me I look strong, fit, they don't want to mess with me.

Only around women do I feel inadequate. Like I need to be way leaner, fitter, stonger, etc. to have a shot with them.

Men never give me this insecurity, men don't judge me this harshly.

It's interesting you say the thing about men not giving you the insecurity. Some men look at other men and see them being tall, good looking, or whatever else and want to kill them for it. These are usually deeply rooted insecurities. It sounds like you have a healthy mindset to be honest and that's good. For me I personally feel like men have done most of the damage to me throughout my life. I've only ever been stabbed or drugged by men, not women. Yeah women can hurt you mentally but I haven't experienced this much. Even if I have, I would care more about the problems men caused me more because you put so much trust in some of your male friends and they turn out to be snakes, or they try to backstab you. Living in NYC made me cynical about other men. I feel like it's a dog eat dog world. Not a bitch eat dog world, you know what I mean?

I guess it overall depends on your life experiences and what you feel is a bigger threat. Some people are traumatized more by emotional abuse (more likely caused by women) and others are more traumatized by the idea of having to defend themselves all the time and be on the look out for threats because they can come from no where (from mostly men)

bump

rate me @ king's day festival 27th of april. Did I mog?

ended up chilling at daria kolosova's techno set (unreleased footage)


View attachment 2919182

was very good on mephedrone.

Also met an old classmate of mine whom I had a crush on, 5+ years ago, so maybe there's some sort of potential but idk.


hope to have more stories from the ward in the coming weeks. I feel like it would benefit a lot of users here to hear something positive about therapy or the ward in general. And I am hoping it will be positive for me.

You look really good here bro very NT looking and your hair looks good. You look awesome man.

Man I'm mirin that stage Daria had set up. I actually found some of her sets online and she plays good stuff. A mix of higher BPM and lower and good mix of what songs she plays. Sounds like such a cool time bud I bet the festivals by you are insanely dope to go to. Would've loved to see her play there at that festival you shot some footage of.

 

[Primalsplit]

I hope it helps bhai. You need a break.

 

[Manletmachine]

never been 79kg in the past 10 years of my life ngl. Would love to reach it some day.
Do you workout, have some muscle mass ? I weight 85kg at my lightest but I have some reasonable muscle/strength where I mog most people at my local gym.

79kg without muscle u could down to 75kg probably. Or u could focus on getting muscled but keeping the same weight.

Yeah I have some muscle but the longer I diet, the weaker I get in the gym and the more muscle I lose. Body wise I’m happy, I have visible abs even when not flexing. But my face just remains fat and bloated

 

[Mister Fuwy]

NEET mogs

No LUL

 

[MoggerGaston]

It's interesting you say the thing about men not giving you the insecurity. Some men look at other men and see them being tall, good looking, or whatever else and want to kill them for it. These are usually deeply rooted insecurities. It sounds like you have a healthy mindset to be honest and that's good. For me I personally feel like men have done most of the damage to me throughout my life. I've only ever been stabbed or drugged by men, not women. Yeah women can hurt you mentally but I haven't experienced this much. Even if I have, I would care more about the problems men caused me more because you put so much trust in some of your male friends and they turn out to be snakes, or they try to backstab you. Living in NYC made me cynical about other men. I feel like it's a dog eat dog world. Not a bitch eat dog world, you know what I mean?

I guess it overall depends on your life experiences and what you feel is a bigger threat. Some people are traumatized more by emotional abuse (more likely caused by women) and others are more traumatized by the idea of having to defend themselves all the time and be on the look out for threats because they can come from no where (from mostly men)

Yeah definitely. I've had a lot of bad experiences with men too, although not as bad as yours.

I have gotten into a lot of fights when I was younger, but I got lucky to never get truly hurt/permanently damaged. Never been stabbed or drugged either.
But with women it's that I simply don't have any positive experiences whatsoever with them honestly. I am either ignored/invisible or rejected. I believe nothing good can come out of interacting with women at this point. At least with men there is some shot at a mutually beneficial arrangement.

You look really good here bro very NT looking and your hair looks good. You look awesome man.

Thanks man.

Man I'm mirin that stage Daria had set up. I actually found some of her sets online and she plays good stuff. A mix of higher BPM and lower and good mix of what songs she plays. Sounds like such a cool time bud I bet the festivals by you are insanely dope to go to. Would've loved to see her play there at that festival you shot some footage of.

Yeah they are really good honestly. Just lack any meaningful social interaction at these raves/festivals, that's the only downside.

 

[TUSSELEIF]

You been to the ward too? I just got out of it. I was at the crisis-psychiatric section

 

[MoggerGaston]

You been to the ward too? I just got out of it. I was at the crisis-psychiatric section

i just got admitted

how was it ?

 

[TUSSELEIF]

i just got admitted

how was it ?

Good, but it was only for a week. Got home yesterday. It was kinda good for my mental health since I was around people and had people looking after me, even though I was kinda distant which I usually am. I have the opportunity to get readmitted for a longer stay, and I might do it tbh, because I’m just depressed and drinking again and lonely