Social anxiety and high inhibition

[callouss]

This is me just venting because I have no one to talk to.

So im currently 15 and I've been doing online school for about 6 years now and it has really ruined me. Back when I would go to public school I was still the shy kid or the quiet kid that never had friends, I've tried multiple times making friends and have either been declined or replaced within days. It had gotten to the point where even my teachers had felt bad for me. Now back to online school, I would say that the first 3-4 years weren't that bad but ever since I've hit puberty it's felt like a nightmare. I've never felt so lonely, I do have two sisters but I can't really get along with them in terms of my interests. I would say early 2025 I've actually tried making online friends but it never worked out. Now we're on this current year, in the beginning of this year i started talking to females online and it wasn't what I would've imagined 6 years ago. I've been insulted many times for my appearance and height (keep in mind im a very insecure person), and I quickly learned that things where not gonna be that easy for me. Now I've realized that online dating is stupid (who would've guessed). So I've been coping with my loneliness with masterbation and pornography, and I have been doing that since I've hit puberty which makes me very depressed. Now you guys might be wondering "why don't you just ask you parents if you can do sports or go back to public school." 1. I hate sports and 2. I've already tried, and they don't want to, im not really sure why but honestly there's no point i already suffer from extreme social anxiety, im in room almost all day every day, im forced to go out of my room 3-4 time's a month and it's terrifying, i feel out of place everywhere I go and I feel insecure of how I look. Let's backtrack a little bit, at 12-13 years old I've developed kind of an eating disorder. I was 55-60 pounds, and now looking back at it i was genuinely anorexic, im kinda surprised my parents didn't really ask how i was doing mentally now that I think about it. And im pretty sure doing that effected my growth, which Is very disappointing. I am now 85-90 pounds, I would say im not anorexic anymore but im still in the lighter side thats for sure.

That's it, now all I do is play games and watch romance animes.

I understand that some people have it worse than me, im just trying to cope by venting honestly.

 

[miserycel]

This is me just venting because I have no one to talk to.

So im currently 15 and I've been doing online school for about 6 years now and it has really ruined me. Back when I would go to public school I was still the shy kid or the quiet kid that never had friends, I've tried multiple times making friends and have either been declined or replaced within days. It had gotten to the point where even my teachers had felt bad for me. Now back to online school, I would say that the first 3-4 years weren't that bad but ever since I've hit puberty it's felt like a nightmare. I've never felt so lonely, I do have two sisters but I can't really get along with them in terms of my interests. I would say early 2025 I've actually tried making online friends but it never worked out. Now we're on this current year, in the beginning of this year i started talking to females online and it wasn't what I would've imagined 6 years ago. I've been insulted many times for my appearance and height (keep in mind im a very insecure person), and I quickly learned that things where not gonna be that easy for me. Now I've realized that online dating is stupid (who would've guessed). So I've been coping with my loneliness with masterbation and pornography, and I have been doing that since I've hit puberty which makes me very depressed. Now you guys might be wondering "why don't you just ask you parents if you can do sports or go back to public school." 1. I hate sports and 2. I've already tried, and they don't want to, im not really sure why but honestly there's no point i already suffer from extreme social anxiety, im in room almost all day every day, im forced to go out of my room 3-4 time's a month and it's terrifying, i feel out of place everywhere I go and I feel insecure of how I look. Let's backtrack a little bit, at 12-13 years old I've developed kind of an eating disorder. I was 55-60 pounds, and now looking back at it i was genuinely anorexic, im kinda surprised my parents didn't really ask how i was doing mentally now that I think about it. And im pretty sure doing that effected my growth, which Is very disappointing. I am now 85-90 pounds, I would say im not anorexic anymore but im still in the lighter side thats for sure.

That's it, now all I do is play games and watch romance animes.

I understand that some people have it worse than me, im just trying to cope by venting honestly.

Seems like you’re surrounded by shitty people.

Honestly in your case the best thing to do is get a diagnosis and hopefully get prescribed some SSRIs and start leaving the house more often. If your parents won’t let you go outside then literally call child services on them, they fucked you over completely.

Also, you should be trying your best to ascend too

 

[boostlock]

If i had home schooling at 15 i wouldve been a millionaire by now.

 

[FuarkistaniNational]

This is me just venting because I have no one to talk to.

So im currently 15 and I've been doing online school for about 6 years now and it has really ruined me. Back when I would go to public school I was still the shy kid or the quiet kid that never had friends, I've tried multiple times making friends and have either been declined or replaced within days. It had gotten to the point where even my teachers had felt bad for me. Now back to online school, I would say that the first 3-4 years weren't that bad but ever since I've hit puberty it's felt like a nightmare. I've never felt so lonely, I do have two sisters but I can't really get along with them in terms of my interests. I would say early 2025 I've actually tried making online friends but it never worked out. Now we're on this current year, in the beginning of this year i started talking to females online and it wasn't what I would've imagined 6 years ago. I've been insulted many times for my appearance and height (keep in mind im a very insecure person), and I quickly learned that things where not gonna be that easy for me. Now I've realized that online dating is stupid (who would've guessed). So I've been coping with my loneliness with masterbation and pornography, and I have been doing that since I've hit puberty which makes me very depressed. Now you guys might be wondering "why don't you just ask you parents if you can do sports or go back to public school." 1. I hate sports and 2. I've already tried, and they don't want to, im not really sure why but honestly there's no point i already suffer from extreme social anxiety, im in room almost all day every day, im forced to go out of my room 3-4 time's a month and it's terrifying, i feel out of place everywhere I go and I feel insecure of how I look. Let's backtrack a little bit, at 12-13 years old I've developed kind of an eating disorder. I was 55-60 pounds, and now looking back at it i was genuinely anorexic, im kinda surprised my parents didn't really ask how i was doing mentally now that I think about it. And im pretty sure doing that effected my growth, which Is very disappointing. I am now 85-90 pounds, I would say im not anorexic anymore but im still in the lighter side thats for sure.

That's it, now all I do is play games and watch romance animes.

I understand that some people have it worse than me, im just trying to cope by venting honestly.

Sorry to hear that OP, from what i've read it seems like your parents really fucked you over. I went through something similar at your age, looking back probably would've been best if I had never had access to the internet, oh well, too late now. If I were you I'd do everything in my power to ascend, trust me, it doesn't get better if you don't. Be glad that you're 15 atleast, at 15 you can still develop into something extraordinary, all hope is not lost.

 

[Rolling8scones]

it’s going to be shitty for about 3 years man just want to be honest. i went though something pretty similar. your going to NEED to grow taller and if you work on everything after that it’ll all fall in place. unfortunately i didnt have this place so early highschool i went from a giga midget (shorter then most of the girls around me) to 5’11 naturally and then about 3 years after that i went on a pretty big arc in college and am in a much better place socially, mentally, and physically now (so ig its 6 years for me) but i think you could do this much faster

if you don’t hit like 5’7 just neetmaxx ig

 

[FuarkistaniNational]

it’s going to be shitty for about 3 years man just want to be honest. i went though something pretty similar. your going to NEED to grow taller and if you work on everything after that it’ll all fall in place. unfortunately i didnt have this place so early highschool i went from a giga midget (shorter then most of the girls around me) to 5’11 naturally and then about 3 years after that i went on a pretty big arc in college and am in a much better place socially, mentally, and physically now (so ig its 6 years for me) but i think you could do this much faster

if you don’t hit like 5’7 just neetmaxx ig

5'10 is the bare minimum to not be made fun off by society at large, 6'0 is the minimum to be seen as human.

 

[callouss]

Sorry to hear that OP, from what i've read it seems like your parents really fucked you over. I went through something similar at your age, looking back probably would've been best if I had never had access to the internet, oh well, too late now. If I were you I'd do everything in my power to ascend, trust me, it doesn't get better if you don't. Be glad that you're 15 atleast, at 15 you can still develop into something extraordinary, all hope is not lost.

There really isn't much ascending i can do other than getting proper sleep. I've tried convincing them to feed me nutrient dense foods but they think im crazy and "i just need to eat what my mom cooks." I've also told them i want braces and they said im crazy, i have TMJ which isn't bad yet and you guessed it they said "im crazy" there is more things I told them I want to do (which are things that will ascend me) but they just don't care, it's really frustrating.

 

[Rolling8scones]

5'10 is the bare minimum to not be made fun off by society at large, 6'0 is the minimum to be seen as human.

you can atleast play at like 5’7 although i agree its better off higher. but saying 6’ is human is like saying foids know what 6’ actually is when they can’t even properly string together a thought

 

[FuarkistaniNational]

There really isn't much ascending i can do other than getting proper sleep. I've tried convincing them to feed me nutrient dense foods but they think im crazy and "i just need to eat what my mom cooks." I've also told them i want braces and they said im crazy, i have TMJ which isn't bad yet and you guessed it they said "im crazy" there is more things I told them I want to do (which are things that will ascend me) but they just don't care, it's really frustrating.

Your parents are horrible holy shit, glad I lucked out with mine. At this point either accept a life of misery and pain where you might kill yourself or go and wagecuck and save yourself. No other choice really, it's a shame ,but you're really own your own.

 

[callouss]

Your parents are horrible holy shit, glad I lucked out with mine. At this point either accept a life of misery and pain where you might kill yourself or go and wagecuck and save yourself. No other choice really, it's a shame ,but you're really own your own.

The harsh reality

 

[ravenn.cel]

I'm going through the same thing. The best thing to do is find a way to pick yourself up or remain isolated and accept life as it is.