Social anxiety

[obslov]

(This is just an example of what I often experience)

Last night, the only friend I really have invited me to hang out with his group of friends (2 guys and 3 girls). There was a music event in my town, so we all went out together.

As a very anxious person who had never really gone out at night before, I decided to join them. I greeted everyone, but I didn't talk to any of them for the entire night.

Most of the time, I was just drinking and watching them dance. I was standing on the dance floor with them, doing absolutely nothing, trying to figure out where to put my hands because I felt extremely uncomfortable, even though I was very drunk. It was only the second time I've ever been drunk.

Sometimes we would all stop and stand together to talk, but I would just stand there listening and watching everyone else have conversations. I didn't say a single word the entire evening, even though I wanted to. I just couldn't bring myself to speak.

I also feel like I might come across as a burden in the group, because I don't look like I'm happy to be there. I usually have a pretty closed-off facial expression, even though I actually am happy to be included. I just can't really express it properly, and it makes people probably think I don't want to be there.

The only thing alcohol really does for me is reduce my nervous tics and make me feel a little less tense, but it doesn't make me more social or help me talk to people.

I came home feeling pretty awful about myself because everyone else seemed to be having fun while I spent the whole night silently standing there.

I honestly don’t know how to fix this. How do I get better at talking in situations like this and actually feel comfortable in groups like that?

 

[sub3gooncel]

Nice vent bro but

 

[obslov]

Nice vent bro but
View attachment 5257255

 

[iqce]

There is no easy way. For me i just had to realise most other people are the same as you, also worried about how they might appear, no one knows "how to dance" they just dance you can do the same thing. You are not a burden otherwise you wouldn't be invited take opportunities as they come and try not to overthink just remember you're there for a reason and no one is there to judge you.

 

[jkxdy]

i read it bro

 

[filthycurrycel]

You're not a burden on them if they're inviting you.
It's all in your head. Just take your time

Just keep exposing yourself to social situations.

I can't help too much since i suffer from the same thing.

 

[LETMEINWTFF]

i too struggle with this and sometimes its better to say some random shit and theres a 100% chance u connect with them. even if its some bs and u start feeling really anxious after saying it or get dizzy u actually talked and said something. better than doing nothing

 

[obslov]

You're not a burden on them if they're inviting you.
It's all in your head. Just take your time

Just keep exposing yourself to social situations.

I can't help too much since i suffer from the same thing.

"THEY" did not invite me, the only friend I have invited me out of pity because I never go out, lol. He knows I'm struggling having social interactions so he invites me over from times to times to improve my social skills, but it never seems to work.

 

[obslov]

i too struggle with this and sometimes its better to say some random shit and theres a 100% chance u connect with them. even if its some bs and u start feeling really anxious after saying it or get dizzy u actually talked and said something. better than doing nothing

But I can't even do that, social anxiety prevents me from doing this

 

[filthycurrycel]

"THEY" did not invite me, the only friend I have invited me out of pity because I never go out, lol. He knows I'm struggling having social interactions so he invites me over from times to times to improve my social skills, but it never seems to work.

You've gotta figure it out somehow, any other ways you can improve? Walk around in public more often and go to class / any social situations you can go to.

Also it's good you have a friend who cares about you man

 

[obslov]

You've gotta figure it out somehow, any other ways you can improve? Walk around in public more often and go to class / any social situations you can go to.

Also it's good you have a friend who cares about you man

Yes I like walking out in public alone, it doesn't help tho

 

[obslov]

There is no easy way. For me i just had to realise most other people are the same as you, also worried about how they might appear, no one knows "how to dance" they just dance you can do the same thing. You are not a burden otherwise you wouldn't be invited take opportunities as they come and try not to overthink just remember you're there for a reason and no one is there to judge you.

I was a burden last night, i saw it in their eyes, also it was my first time meeting them 2 girls