P
Peco
Platinum
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2024
- Posts
- 1,174
- Reputation
- 886
DISCLAIMER: I know it's a pretty long post and there isn't much formatting, there's probably some grammar mistakes too but I think it's worth reading and very useful for most people here.
This graph describes the relationship between time and confidence of you (average looksmaxxer) and a regular guy without any mental health issue. As you can see if we assume the starting point is when you learned about looksmaxxing, the average starting confidence of an nt normie guy is already higher than yours. That's probably why you started looksmaxxing right ? Most people that approach this community and get invested in it are insecure people that wanna fix their social disability. But does looksmaxxing help with that ?
The curve of the normie gravitates around his baseline confidence, due to real life events that can marginally affect it. Yours is a bit different though. At first your confidence dips. That is because all the copes that kept you going fall apart. The idea that looks aren't very important and that your personality is the only thing that really matters, disappears. But after that comes the rise. Looksmaxxing shows you the harsh reality but it gives you a solution. And so you start improving your looks and as a result of that your confidence slowly increases. But is the solution that looksmaxxing gives really the most optimal ? Here comes the paradox.
While your confidence rises as illustrated by my beautiful graph, getting closer and closer to your starting confidence, it will never reach that level again. That is because looksmaxxing has completly reshapened your mind and how you look at things. Before you learned about looksmaxxing you were not comparing yourself with others to make sure you are mogging them. You weren't spending hours analyzing your face in a camera or mirror. You were more naive but also free from mental cages. You were less self conscious. Let's face it, you were probably happier.
That is the real problem with looksmaxxing. The whole idea is that by improving your looks more and more your confidence will raise as a result and at some point you'll magically stop being insecure. That would be true if you were able to become an absolutely flawless chad. Then you would have 0 flaws and would mog every single human on the planet, making it impossible to be self conscious. But obviously that's not what's gonna happen. Most people that had success with looksmaxxing will tell you that their quality of life definitely improved, people do treat them a lot better, but deep down nothing really changed and they still hate themselves. This was definitely the case for me. Even after becoming much better looking and getting the attention that I always wanted I still felt insecure deep down.
Now what people will tell me is "yeah bro just keep improving, it will keep getting better and eventually you will escape the blackpill". But the reality like I said is that would only happen if I were to ascend to a divine flawless creature. Of course that's impossible. Every flaw you fix is replaced by a new one. Maybe these new flaws will have less impact on yourself, but they will keep haunting you.
So what should you do ? Accept that you'll never truly be free ? Stop trying to improve your appearance ? Of course not. Looks are undeniably important and you should always try to better them. The way to escape from the endless cycle I described is to fix the mental habits that came with learning about the blackpill. Comparing yourself with others is not something you can stop doing, it's in human nature, but stop doing it actively. If you notice you are doing it redirect your thoughts somewhere else. Fight the urge of checking yourself out everytime you see a reflective surface outside and stop analyzing your face for hours in pictures or the mirror. Check yourself in the mirror before leaving for school or a social event but leave it at that. All these habits are harmful and will not change the way you look at all and instead make you more self conscious and thus more insecure. Knowing what you look like at a certain moment is only useful for knowing how you look at that moment. It won't make it better or worse. It's your emotional reaction to an underlying insecurity that looksmaxxing created. Same with comparing yourself with others.
You keep the good thing about looksmaxxing (realizing looks are important and learning ways to improve them) but get rid of the bad part (the mental framework that it develops).
It's such a simple fix but I guarantee that the effect it will have on your confidence is massive. It will make you a lot less self conscious and lower your inhib. All by fixing a couple of habits. No drugs or other bullshit. This is by far the thing that helped me the most with my performance in social situations. Try it for 1/2 weeks and see for yourself. Sometimes the simplest things have the greatest effects.
This graph describes the relationship between time and confidence of you (average looksmaxxer) and a regular guy without any mental health issue. As you can see if we assume the starting point is when you learned about looksmaxxing, the average starting confidence of an nt normie guy is already higher than yours. That's probably why you started looksmaxxing right ? Most people that approach this community and get invested in it are insecure people that wanna fix their social disability. But does looksmaxxing help with that ?
The curve of the normie gravitates around his baseline confidence, due to real life events that can marginally affect it. Yours is a bit different though. At first your confidence dips. That is because all the copes that kept you going fall apart. The idea that looks aren't very important and that your personality is the only thing that really matters, disappears. But after that comes the rise. Looksmaxxing shows you the harsh reality but it gives you a solution. And so you start improving your looks and as a result of that your confidence slowly increases. But is the solution that looksmaxxing gives really the most optimal ? Here comes the paradox.
While your confidence rises as illustrated by my beautiful graph, getting closer and closer to your starting confidence, it will never reach that level again. That is because looksmaxxing has completly reshapened your mind and how you look at things. Before you learned about looksmaxxing you were not comparing yourself with others to make sure you are mogging them. You weren't spending hours analyzing your face in a camera or mirror. You were more naive but also free from mental cages. You were less self conscious. Let's face it, you were probably happier.
That is the real problem with looksmaxxing. The whole idea is that by improving your looks more and more your confidence will raise as a result and at some point you'll magically stop being insecure. That would be true if you were able to become an absolutely flawless chad. Then you would have 0 flaws and would mog every single human on the planet, making it impossible to be self conscious. But obviously that's not what's gonna happen. Most people that had success with looksmaxxing will tell you that their quality of life definitely improved, people do treat them a lot better, but deep down nothing really changed and they still hate themselves. This was definitely the case for me. Even after becoming much better looking and getting the attention that I always wanted I still felt insecure deep down.
Now what people will tell me is "yeah bro just keep improving, it will keep getting better and eventually you will escape the blackpill". But the reality like I said is that would only happen if I were to ascend to a divine flawless creature. Of course that's impossible. Every flaw you fix is replaced by a new one. Maybe these new flaws will have less impact on yourself, but they will keep haunting you.
So what should you do ? Accept that you'll never truly be free ? Stop trying to improve your appearance ? Of course not. Looks are undeniably important and you should always try to better them. The way to escape from the endless cycle I described is to fix the mental habits that came with learning about the blackpill. Comparing yourself with others is not something you can stop doing, it's in human nature, but stop doing it actively. If you notice you are doing it redirect your thoughts somewhere else. Fight the urge of checking yourself out everytime you see a reflective surface outside and stop analyzing your face for hours in pictures or the mirror. Check yourself in the mirror before leaving for school or a social event but leave it at that. All these habits are harmful and will not change the way you look at all and instead make you more self conscious and thus more insecure. Knowing what you look like at a certain moment is only useful for knowing how you look at that moment. It won't make it better or worse. It's your emotional reaction to an underlying insecurity that looksmaxxing created. Same with comparing yourself with others.
You keep the good thing about looksmaxxing (realizing looks are important and learning ways to improve them) but get rid of the bad part (the mental framework that it develops).
It's such a simple fix but I guarantee that the effect it will have on your confidence is massive. It will make you a lot less self conscious and lower your inhib. All by fixing a couple of habits. No drugs or other bullshit. This is by far the thing that helped me the most with my performance in social situations. Try it for 1/2 weeks and see for yourself. Sometimes the simplest things have the greatest effects.
