Kazura_
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2025
- Posts
- 80
- Reputation
- 106
Going to a same-sex school probably didn't help ended up being bullied and being a complete loser, since I never got rejected for being ugly by girls and was oblivious to my appearance. Moved to a different school for college ( 16-18 ), hoping I could go to a place where no one knew me with 0 experience talking to any women and coming from another school with 0 social value it was pretty much over and within 3 months.
I ended up at the library table alone every break because the lunch hall is a painful experience when you're a loser, everyone is talking in groups and you feel like they stare at you for being alone, even when you sit with random people. Maybe due to my appearance and social skills, I felt like they just wanted me to fuck off, most of the time, they just ignore what I say or speak over me.
Finally, 18 - time to go to uni... but then covid hits that year, the college exams are cancelled and we just get given random grades ( B, C, D*
), I luck out getting an unconditional Master's offer at the local Uni for Civil Engineering so despite the grades get in anyway.
New year, New me!, Once again, no one knows me. College made me realise not only do I have poor social skills, but poor looks as well as IQ so it goes about as well as you would expect, coming off covid, first 2 years are over zoom, 3rd year irl classes, but how tf am I ever even going to speak to the 3 girls in my engineering course when I would only scare them with my face anyway?
Decide to try dating apps, age range 18- 30, and change it to 1km radius and increase it every time I swipe through everyone in that radius. I am broke with no car, and my 'income' is from uni loans. I still have no idea how to pay back ( -£80k debt fml ) , ( living at home with Mum ofc ) , I know it's over but I try anyway.
I speed-swipe every single girl for a 5km radius, edit my pictures to look better.... say I am already an engineer on my profile, try all the dating apps, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and even more obscure ones and kept this up as a daily activity, I tried new pics, looked at what was popular online and even through all this I didn't get a single date, so many times I got accidental matches where they just unmatch after seeing me when I message them.
Drop out 3rd year of uni and take a Bachelor's instead of the Masters , 1 year of being a Complete loser was enough, still haven't ever spoke to a girl, BUT now I have an engineering degree and can get a decent job and pay for dates and my own place and surgery right?...
WRONG!
I end up as a part-time school cleaner...
Over the 2 years since uni ended, I have achieved basically nothing. The only real graduation I experienced was that of going from School cleaner to Hotel Cleaner
, working the same jobs I worked when I was 16
. I spent all my free time as Mercy or D.Va in Overwatch or Jinx or Ahri in League, switching from mouse to joystick after
. Tried gym but pathetic as I am never ended up going more than once a month because exercise is hard..
so never saw any results ( currently started anewgym like 5 months ago, still paying but only ever went maybe 3x so this is ironically a new low
).
Decided if it's over, might as well make some money for my family, surely the army wouldn't turn down a free meatshield, stupid ugly people are literally the best option for this and army engineering degree is maybe kinda useful, end up passing the physical test but fail the interview part. have to wait a while to reapply... apply to police but rejected because I can't drive.... try Navy engineer but the final assessement is a group zoom activity where you solve a maths question in a group of 4 and are assessed based on your social skills/ ability to lead and contribute, fail,, try again like 6 months later. banned from reapplying for a year..


Turn 24, work part-time minimum wage job, mum wants me gone no matter how by next year , just get a real job and get out. Honestly, girls are the least of my problems, and even if I looked like some model instead of a monster, I think my life would still suck due to my IQ and mindset. Idk why I'm even making this post only to get clowned and feel worse. I deserve everything I get and more.
My life sucks, I write this surrounded by all the anime figures I spent my wages on that I couldn't afford as a kid, forced to face my own hypocrisy daily, I dull it with familiar comforts, I say forced because how can this be my choice? to live like this?? my life sucked as a kid, at school, at college, at uni, after and even now, there has never been a good part I can look back on and it feels like it will only get worse, I spent a ton on skincare, hair products etc and maybe I look a little better but subhuman is still subhuman, not even minox, finas and all these expensive products can help me. I still get nightmares about my time at school, even though it will have been like a decade ago soon and wonder how much longer I can keep going
I ended up at the library table alone every break because the lunch hall is a painful experience when you're a loser, everyone is talking in groups and you feel like they stare at you for being alone, even when you sit with random people. Maybe due to my appearance and social skills, I felt like they just wanted me to fuck off, most of the time, they just ignore what I say or speak over me.
Finally, 18 - time to go to uni... but then covid hits that year, the college exams are cancelled and we just get given random grades ( B, C, D*
New year, New me!, Once again, no one knows me. College made me realise not only do I have poor social skills, but poor looks as well as IQ so it goes about as well as you would expect, coming off covid, first 2 years are over zoom, 3rd year irl classes, but how tf am I ever even going to speak to the 3 girls in my engineering course when I would only scare them with my face anyway?
Decide to try dating apps, age range 18- 30, and change it to 1km radius and increase it every time I swipe through everyone in that radius. I am broke with no car, and my 'income' is from uni loans. I still have no idea how to pay back ( -£80k debt fml ) , ( living at home with Mum ofc ) , I know it's over but I try anyway.
I speed-swipe every single girl for a 5km radius, edit my pictures to look better.... say I am already an engineer on my profile, try all the dating apps, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and even more obscure ones and kept this up as a daily activity, I tried new pics, looked at what was popular online and even through all this I didn't get a single date, so many times I got accidental matches where they just unmatch after seeing me when I message them.
Drop out 3rd year of uni and take a Bachelor's instead of the Masters , 1 year of being a Complete loser was enough, still haven't ever spoke to a girl, BUT now I have an engineering degree and can get a decent job and pay for dates and my own place and surgery right?...
Over the 2 years since uni ended, I have achieved basically nothing. The only real graduation I experienced was that of going from School cleaner to Hotel Cleaner
Decided if it's over, might as well make some money for my family, surely the army wouldn't turn down a free meatshield, stupid ugly people are literally the best option for this and army engineering degree is maybe kinda useful, end up passing the physical test but fail the interview part. have to wait a while to reapply... apply to police but rejected because I can't drive.... try Navy engineer but the final assessement is a group zoom activity where you solve a maths question in a group of 4 and are assessed based on your social skills/ ability to lead and contribute, fail,, try again like 6 months later. banned from reapplying for a year..
Turn 24, work part-time minimum wage job, mum wants me gone no matter how by next year , just get a real job and get out. Honestly, girls are the least of my problems, and even if I looked like some model instead of a monster, I think my life would still suck due to my IQ and mindset. Idk why I'm even making this post only to get clowned and feel worse. I deserve everything I get and more.
My life sucks, I write this surrounded by all the anime figures I spent my wages on that I couldn't afford as a kid, forced to face my own hypocrisy daily, I dull it with familiar comforts, I say forced because how can this be my choice? to live like this?? my life sucked as a kid, at school, at college, at uni, after and even now, there has never been a good part I can look back on and it feels like it will only get worse, I spent a ton on skincare, hair products etc and maybe I look a little better but subhuman is still subhuman, not even minox, finas and all these expensive products can help me. I still get nightmares about my time at school, even though it will have been like a decade ago soon and wonder how much longer I can keep going