what do you prefer, rope or gun?

Your first post was this? Delete your account.
I’m really curious to know what people on this forum actually think about this. For years now, I’ve been completely obsessed with studying cranio maxillofacial and facial plastic surgery. But over time, being that deep into medical aesthetics and heavy philosophy completely warped my headspace. It just made me incredibly depressed about how i look. I’ve been teaching myself looking into medical and philosophical topics since I was 14. Honestly, it slowly destroyed my mental health. Now, I’m at a point where I’m totally isolated and just locked away in my room; spending way too much time in the looksmaxing corners of Reddit and 4chan. It definitely didn't help, and it just spiraled from there.
It’s exhausting, and it makes trying to talk to anyone feel totally fake and disconnected. I want to just turn my brain off and live a normal life, but I’ve spent so many years reinforcing this mindset that I don't even know who I am without it. I feel like I completely wasted my teenage years staring at screens and overanalyzing anatomy, and now I’m just trapped with the consequences. If I really want to, i can fufil my wish any time.
 
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I’m really curious to know what people on this forum actually think about this. For years now, I’ve been completely obsessed with studying cranio maxillofacial and facial plastic surgery. But over time, being that deep into medical aesthetics and heavy philosophy completely warped my headspace. It just made me incredibly depressed about how i look. I’ve been teaching myself looking into medical and philosophical topics since I was 14. Honestly, it slowly destroyed my mental health. Now, I’m at a point where I’m totally isolated and just locked away in my room; spending way too much time in the looksmaxing corners of Reddit and 4chan. It definitely didn't help, and it just spiraled from there.
It’s exhausting, and it makes trying to talk to anyone feel totally fake and disconnected. I want to just turn my brain off and live a normal life, but I’ve spent so many years reinforcing this mindset that I don't even know who I am without it. I feel like I completely wasted my teenage years staring at screens and overanalyzing anatomy, and now I’m just trapped with the consequences. If I really want to, i can fufil my wish any time.
and youre sure that you arent to look any better than how you do right now?
giving you a solid piece of advice, my life is consumed by how i look quite a lot, i also dont really enjoy going outside, im paranoid constantly, it might be because im also having issues mentally, but i digress, i simply had a day where i finally felt content with how i looked, like half a year ago, maybe it was the hair and some things sort of unfolded luckily to me and i felt more at ease that day, and paranoia ceased. (cant guarantee im going through it as severely as you but, theres a chance)

Ive been chasing good looks ever since i came across lookism properly in like 2022 whilst really young, and its been a big problem for me accepting my looks on a day-to-day, but in a sense knowing there was some part of me that became fulfilled when i looked good, even for a singular day, it sort of gave me fuel that i might reach a fulfilling life if i continue pushing, whether that happens when i turn 18 or 25. i know my paranoia will actually go away, that looking good isnt something that is addictive like some say, 'omg im so ugly' when theyre htn+ or whatever tf and spoiled because they never experienced ugliness in their life

to actually answer your original question, im not experienced in guns but some might cause you to bleed out and not die instantly, so only if its a good one.
 

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