D
Deleted member 11126
Kraken
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- Dec 4, 2020
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At 10 I was tested 145 IQ(I got it retested recently and its 130 meaning I lost 15 IQ points) by a therapist and they were discussing entering me into a gifted school to make use of my talents. I was a good looking kid I even spoke better then I do now in old videos I had more charisma at 10 then I do now. At 10 years old I had a college reading level probably higher then it is now.
Something really weird happened between 10-13 and gradually I isolated myself from people. It started slowly and I became weirder and weirder. The more isolated I felt the less I wanted to leave my room. From 11-13 I hardly spoke a single word I even convinced teachers I was mute I would say one word a day at most to my mother and that was it. I refused to leave my room when I got home from school and I barely ate anything. I got sicker each day I was so pale and skinny I refused to even get a haircut and would cut it myself buzz cut style. This made the kids bully me more which in turn made me hide away in my room even more.
Some therapist nibba thought it was ADHD and put me on adderall this actually helped me because I had no motivation to do anything but it made the eating disorder I had worse (adderall kills appetite) before this I was barely eating at all but this made me eat even less I would pass out a lot at school because of this but still refused to eat because I was so disgusted by it. I believe eating so little delayed my growth and probably made me lose 3 inches of height I started puberty like 2 years later then most kids and was 5'4 till the last half of HS when I finally got a growth spurt. The 8 hours spent in my room also permanently fucked up my breathing I never mouth breathed before this but afterwards I did from laying in bed or sitting on my desk all day. And I got permanent dark circles from poor sleep and playing games in the dark. Also at this age I developed chronic acne so just so many bad factors at once.
I look at pictures before 11 and I'm unrecognizable after that it looks like a before and after to a warzone or a holocaust survivor. I looked like such a sweet kid. I managed to start eating food and got 5 hours of sleep a night (I know thats still bad but before it was more like 2-3) I lift weights now I look a lot better and don't have the acne anymore but I still have to wonder how things could have taken such a bad turn. Is this all my fault or my parents for not getting me out of this situation. It just sucks and I never can escape the years of loneliness either even with friends around as soon as I go in my bed alone the thoughts return the abyss stared back at me.
Something really weird happened between 10-13 and gradually I isolated myself from people. It started slowly and I became weirder and weirder. The more isolated I felt the less I wanted to leave my room. From 11-13 I hardly spoke a single word I even convinced teachers I was mute I would say one word a day at most to my mother and that was it. I refused to leave my room when I got home from school and I barely ate anything. I got sicker each day I was so pale and skinny I refused to even get a haircut and would cut it myself buzz cut style. This made the kids bully me more which in turn made me hide away in my room even more.
Some therapist nibba thought it was ADHD and put me on adderall this actually helped me because I had no motivation to do anything but it made the eating disorder I had worse (adderall kills appetite) before this I was barely eating at all but this made me eat even less I would pass out a lot at school because of this but still refused to eat because I was so disgusted by it. I believe eating so little delayed my growth and probably made me lose 3 inches of height I started puberty like 2 years later then most kids and was 5'4 till the last half of HS when I finally got a growth spurt. The 8 hours spent in my room also permanently fucked up my breathing I never mouth breathed before this but afterwards I did from laying in bed or sitting on my desk all day. And I got permanent dark circles from poor sleep and playing games in the dark. Also at this age I developed chronic acne so just so many bad factors at once.
I look at pictures before 11 and I'm unrecognizable after that it looks like a before and after to a warzone or a holocaust survivor. I looked like such a sweet kid. I managed to start eating food and got 5 hours of sleep a night (I know thats still bad but before it was more like 2-3) I lift weights now I look a lot better and don't have the acne anymore but I still have to wonder how things could have taken such a bad turn. Is this all my fault or my parents for not getting me out of this situation. It just sucks and I never can escape the years of loneliness either even with friends around as soon as I go in my bed alone the thoughts return the abyss stared back at me.
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