sørenyuko
inflamed
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2026
- Posts
- 367
- Reputation
- 328
For context you might wanna read these:
is it worth participating in this unsafe roulette out there? should i subject myself to this or would it just give me confusing crumbs frustrating me?
i dont think i'll ever get back to it, i mean i wont be getting that anyway, its pretty much wraps for me and only isolation ahead, to be completely candid i will never ever get that
But maybe no one else gets it either and my expectations are just up in the clouds.
I couldn't say because im still not sure which things affected this the most, i could very well also be barking up the wrong tree completely, i mean wow that'd be even more disorienting than my bizarre perspective of all this already is.
this negative feedback loop makes it completely impossible and deletes every opportunity, yes its unfair and brutal but im just gonna have to bite the bullet and take it
after getting used to this for so long combined with the fictional scenarios upping my expectations and lowering my tolerance for anything even slightly uncomfortable
I might just be forever locked out of it and should just forget about it for good
maybe its out of reach and i shouldn't fill my cognitive bandwidth wondering if it is
That also makes it feel like a coerced struggle stripping away the appeal so thats a weird side effect that could actually work in my favor in sustaining this lifestyle.
Oddly i dont feel the strong emotions about this anymore like i did a couple of months ago, its just feels like investigations now, maybe because of the 283 page book i wrote about my emotional landscape exhausted every bit of substance i had left in me.
is it worth participating in this unsafe roulette out there? should i subject myself to this or would it just give me confusing crumbs frustrating me?
i dont think i'll ever get back to it, i mean i wont be getting that anyway, its pretty much wraps for me and only isolation ahead, to be completely candid i will never ever get that
But maybe no one else gets it either and my expectations are just up in the clouds.
I couldn't say because im still not sure which things affected this the most, i could very well also be barking up the wrong tree completely, i mean wow that'd be even more disorienting than my bizarre perspective of all this already is.
this negative feedback loop makes it completely impossible and deletes every opportunity, yes its unfair and brutal but im just gonna have to bite the bullet and take it
after getting used to this for so long combined with the fictional scenarios upping my expectations and lowering my tolerance for anything even slightly uncomfortable
I might just be forever locked out of it and should just forget about it for good
maybe its out of reach and i shouldn't fill my cognitive bandwidth wondering if it is
That also makes it feel like a coerced struggle stripping away the appeal so thats a weird side effect that could actually work in my favor in sustaining this lifestyle.
Oddly i dont feel the strong emotions about this anymore like i did a couple of months ago, its just feels like investigations now, maybe because of the 283 page book i wrote about my emotional landscape exhausted every bit of substance i had left in me.
Last edited:
