BitchBoy
5’3 and not ashamed
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2023
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Going to start this by saying yes, I know we got married very young. We did think it out as much as we thought we could. Bit a long post, bear with me.
I have known my wife since just before highschool so about 6 years now. We started dating in december 2021 and got married towsrds the end March 2023. Things were great for the most part and I'm very much in love with her. She entered the military a little while before we were married. While it did have some influence or decision to get married, we had planned to get married whether she enlisted or not.
She was stationed over seas and we began the paperwork for me to move there with her. Our first argument started when I noticed some steps were taking longer than others. She admitted she enjoyed being independent for once and wasn't in a rush for me to move over there so she had been delaying thr papwpaper. This was about 6 months into the long distance, no visits yet. It kind of hurt that she didn't seem to miss me at all but I understood. She later agreed to work on the process again without delaying but it still was and currently is still taking a long time.
When she got stationed overseas she met a new male friend and co worker, let's call him Rick for now. She was good friends with him and a few others. One day, he suddenly messaged me through social media. I was shocked to say the least. He messaged me about how they were "such close friends, it's like skin to skin" and how he would "take REALLY good care of her" for me, give her goodnight kisses and tuck her in. He talked to me about he was going to cross the boundaries of friendship with her and if he wanted to take her, there was nothing I could do about it. It was completely random and despite the obvious intention to provoke me, I was provoked anyways. I immediately took screenshots and showed them to my wife.
She didn't seem to think it was a big deal. She asked me what I wanted her to do. I told her I wasn't comfortable with them being friends after this. She didn't take it well and said she didn't want me controlling who she got to be friends with. She still wanted to be his friend and didn't find what he did was a big deal. Rick told my wife he was joking and that's what she believes and she acts like I'm making a big deal out of it and being controlling. It really bothered me that she seemed to be taking his side with the whole thing. My wide says Rick has a wife and doesn't see her that way and was joking. I don't know who randomly jokes like that with someone they've never talked to before? It certainly was not funny.
We had many arguments about it for a while and in the end, I gave an ultimatum although I wasn't happy about it. I've seen ultimatum ruin relationships and didn't want that but I didn't see any choice. My wife picked me. She became more distant after this, leaving me on delivered more often and being less loving. Eventually I took back the ultimatum and said she could be his friend with some restrictions in an attempt to fix things. She said it didn't matter and she didn't really need to be his friend again but might in the future. The small arguments and distance stuff didn't stop after that.
After having a long talk with her to try and get to the bottom of it she told me she loves me but is no longer IN love with me. She said it doesnt matter to her whether i stay here in the states or vome over seas to her. She said she still wants to stay with me for the rest of our lives and that we would work things out. I agreed. Nothing seemed to change much and I've been hoping it's just the distance. 2 days ago (It has been about 10 months since I last saw her), she told me that her and Rick have started talking again and would likley become friends again. I expressed I was not the happiest about it but we could talk about some boundaries ans restrictions. I also noticed her drinking from a Yeti water bottle I didn't recognize. She admitted it belonged to Rick but she said she took it months ago and people in the army share water bottles all the time.
I have access to her email as we shared email for me to help with some of the military paperwork. Today, I saw a email from Rick. It has his first and last name so I knew. The only thing in the email was a link. The link was to a sexual enhancement product. A few minutes later I see some more emails. They are receipt emails from the company of that product. I can see she has bought about $60 USD worth of sexual enchantment items for both male and female. So Rick sent the link to her and she obviously bought the stuff. I was absolutely heartbroken and unsure what to do. She didn't pick up until about an hour later and I just directly confronted her.
My wife tells me that Rick is low on money and needed the stuff and she was just doing him a favor and helping out a friend. She said the stuff is for him and his wife and not her. 3 weeks ago or so she was telling me rick had a fight with his wife and Rick's wife left back home for a while so I know she isn't even there. When I mentioned this, she said it's not her business who Rick sleeps with but knowing him, he's probably sleeping around. My wife also said I didn't need access to her email anymore, asked me to log out and changed the password. She's also coming to visit for Christmas for a week.
I really need advice. I don't know what to do. What are the chances she's cheating? What are the chances she's being honest? Should I still pursue moving overseas to her? I love her very much and want to believe she's being honest with me but it's hard.
I have known my wife since just before highschool so about 6 years now. We started dating in december 2021 and got married towsrds the end March 2023. Things were great for the most part and I'm very much in love with her. She entered the military a little while before we were married. While it did have some influence or decision to get married, we had planned to get married whether she enlisted or not.
She was stationed over seas and we began the paperwork for me to move there with her. Our first argument started when I noticed some steps were taking longer than others. She admitted she enjoyed being independent for once and wasn't in a rush for me to move over there so she had been delaying thr papwpaper. This was about 6 months into the long distance, no visits yet. It kind of hurt that she didn't seem to miss me at all but I understood. She later agreed to work on the process again without delaying but it still was and currently is still taking a long time.
When she got stationed overseas she met a new male friend and co worker, let's call him Rick for now. She was good friends with him and a few others. One day, he suddenly messaged me through social media. I was shocked to say the least. He messaged me about how they were "such close friends, it's like skin to skin" and how he would "take REALLY good care of her" for me, give her goodnight kisses and tuck her in. He talked to me about he was going to cross the boundaries of friendship with her and if he wanted to take her, there was nothing I could do about it. It was completely random and despite the obvious intention to provoke me, I was provoked anyways. I immediately took screenshots and showed them to my wife.
She didn't seem to think it was a big deal. She asked me what I wanted her to do. I told her I wasn't comfortable with them being friends after this. She didn't take it well and said she didn't want me controlling who she got to be friends with. She still wanted to be his friend and didn't find what he did was a big deal. Rick told my wife he was joking and that's what she believes and she acts like I'm making a big deal out of it and being controlling. It really bothered me that she seemed to be taking his side with the whole thing. My wide says Rick has a wife and doesn't see her that way and was joking. I don't know who randomly jokes like that with someone they've never talked to before? It certainly was not funny.
We had many arguments about it for a while and in the end, I gave an ultimatum although I wasn't happy about it. I've seen ultimatum ruin relationships and didn't want that but I didn't see any choice. My wife picked me. She became more distant after this, leaving me on delivered more often and being less loving. Eventually I took back the ultimatum and said she could be his friend with some restrictions in an attempt to fix things. She said it didn't matter and she didn't really need to be his friend again but might in the future. The small arguments and distance stuff didn't stop after that.
After having a long talk with her to try and get to the bottom of it she told me she loves me but is no longer IN love with me. She said it doesnt matter to her whether i stay here in the states or vome over seas to her. She said she still wants to stay with me for the rest of our lives and that we would work things out. I agreed. Nothing seemed to change much and I've been hoping it's just the distance. 2 days ago (It has been about 10 months since I last saw her), she told me that her and Rick have started talking again and would likley become friends again. I expressed I was not the happiest about it but we could talk about some boundaries ans restrictions. I also noticed her drinking from a Yeti water bottle I didn't recognize. She admitted it belonged to Rick but she said she took it months ago and people in the army share water bottles all the time.
I have access to her email as we shared email for me to help with some of the military paperwork. Today, I saw a email from Rick. It has his first and last name so I knew. The only thing in the email was a link. The link was to a sexual enhancement product. A few minutes later I see some more emails. They are receipt emails from the company of that product. I can see she has bought about $60 USD worth of sexual enchantment items for both male and female. So Rick sent the link to her and she obviously bought the stuff. I was absolutely heartbroken and unsure what to do. She didn't pick up until about an hour later and I just directly confronted her.
My wife tells me that Rick is low on money and needed the stuff and she was just doing him a favor and helping out a friend. She said the stuff is for him and his wife and not her. 3 weeks ago or so she was telling me rick had a fight with his wife and Rick's wife left back home for a while so I know she isn't even there. When I mentioned this, she said it's not her business who Rick sleeps with but knowing him, he's probably sleeping around. My wife also said I didn't need access to her email anymore, asked me to log out and changed the password. She's also coming to visit for Christmas for a week.
I really need advice. I don't know what to do. What are the chances she's cheating? What are the chances she's being honest? Should I still pursue moving overseas to her? I love her very much and want to believe she's being honest with me but it's hard.
