dogeater420
Silver
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2024
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this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts
i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that
i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that
