my life is shit

[dogeater420]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

 

[Deleted member 194457]

 

[User28823]

so what r u gonna do about it

 

[Deleted member 194457]

so what r u gonna do about it

 

[dogeater420]

bumo

 

[wall]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

how are you writing this with a flip phone

 

[dogeater420]

how are you writing this with a flip phone

im on my school laptop right now for some reason it isnt blocked by the firewall but if i get caught i am super fucked

 

[TACOCEL_]

Ur dad talking to you like that is fucked up up. No1 deserves to go through that.The fact you’re still pushing through it says a lot about you, even if you don’t see it.

And about the addiction, the friend group stuff, feeling left out all the time ur js stuck around people and situations that drain you. That would get to anyone.Healing can be hard and take long but you will eventually heal. It will get better.

You are a human and worth of love.

 

[Gren]

 

[foidhawker]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

jerking off is meta. u should embrace it

 

[Whiteboard7]

Ur dad talking to you like that is fucked up up. No1 deserves to go through that.The fact you’re still pushing through it says a lot about you, even if you don’t see it.

And about the addiction, the friend group stuff, feeling left out all the time ur js stuck around people and situations that drain you. That would get to anyone.Healing can be hard and take long but you will eventually heal. It will get better.

You are a human and worth of love.

Based

 

[negativ_canthalshit]

im on my school laptop right now for some reason it isnt blocked by the firewall but if i get caught i am super fucked

So real

 

[Mandibular0]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

i did not read it but i probabyl know how you feel

 

[Road2CL]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

Lots of people struggle with that addiction but its never worth taking ur life over man. Cut off your friends for the most part and just put your time into something you're interested in whether thats a sport and going D1 in it or a business or modeling or something and then just work towards that and your life will improve

 

[dogeater420]

Lots of people struggle with that addiction but its never worth taking ur life over man. Cut off your friends for the most part and just put your time into something you're interested in whether thats a sport and going D1 in it or a business or modeling or something and then just work towards that and your life will improve

ive thought about cutting off my friends but then i wouldnt have any and i would be even more sad and then i wouldnt be able to make any new friends cuz everyone else at school thinks im weird also i am focusing on football so i am doing that in my free time and doing wrestling cuz its wrestling season

 

[dogedogedoge]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

Relatable, ill tell you from experience that fresh start did nothing though

 

[Suimaxxer]

Imma tell u the same thing im telling to every high schooler whos going thru that shit, because i also went thru it so i know how it feels: just wait until u graduate high school and then try to get into uni or college or whatever. After u do that, leave EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE from ur old life behind, just forget ur past couple years even existed and start a new life there. If ur antisocial, just pretend like ur social, fake it till u make it method. Its not like anyones gonna know ur antisocial in a brand new environment, so might as well make everyone fall for it, until ur actually the most social kid in there

 

[Road2CL]

ive thought about cutting off my friends but then i wouldnt have any and i would be even more sad and then i wouldnt be able to make any new friends cuz everyone else at school thinks im weird also i am focusing on football so i am doing that in my free time and doing wrestling cuz its wrestling season

Yessir man I wrestle too… you don’t need to cut your friends off I guess but you don’t need to be the same as them

 

[MangoLover]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

Hope it all gets better for you bro

 

[trxyzyx]

. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked

dont kys

 

[Mo3452]

give your life to Christ

 

[ImaASCENDsoon]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

Damn bro i rlly don’t know how ur gonna escape this. Maby get a job and buy a real phone and then make money online and invest into things to improve mood and focus and lock in on school. Gonna be hard but thats all u can rlly do. Wishing the best for u

 

[dogeater420]

Damn bro i rlly don’t know how ur gonna escape this. Maby get a job and buy a real phone and then make money online and invest into things to improve mood and focus and lock in on school. Gonna be hard but thats all u can rlly do. Wishing the best for u

broke my flip phone and got a old samsung from my dad but still dont have social media. gonna start working construction next year for one of my football coaches to save up and get some experience under my belt cause im gonna go into the trades. my social skills have gotten a bit better and im making a few more friends. the holidays are rough and im feeling real lonely but im moving in the right direction. merry christmas

 

[ImaASCENDsoon]

broke my flip phone and got a old samsung from my dad but still dont have social media. gonna start working construction next year for one of my football coaches to save up and get some experience under my belt cause im gonna go into the trades. my social skills have gotten a bit better and im making a few more friends. the holidays are rough and im feeling real lonely but im moving in the right direction. merry christmas

hell yea. Merry Christmas to you too although its late

 

[sebvstiin]

broke my flip phone and got a old samsung from my dad but still dont have social media. gonna start working construction next year for one of my football coaches to save up and get some experience under my belt cause im gonna go into the trades. my social skills have gotten a bit better and im making a few more friends. the holidays are rough and im feeling real lonely but im moving in the right direction. merry christmas

That's great, bro. I used to feel like the floating friend too. I knew everyone and almost everyone knew me, but I didn't really have any real friends. I was afraid of being left out, and I had to put up with being teased about my appearance, my personality, my tastes, and everything about me, because if I walked away from them or simply "rebelled," they would exclude me even more than they already did, they would make things up about me and tell everyone, and stuff like that. I was quite young when all this happened, so I don't remember everything, but I'm sure there was a point when it turned into bullying.
The following year, I had a problem with a member of that group and they ended up excluding me, making up nonsense about me and all that, and in the end, I decided to start hanging out with other people who I thought were "weird" because they liked anime and had different tastes than me, but over time I realized that they weren't actually weird and that I only thought that about them because the other guys in my group at the time also talked badly about them and made fun of most of their physical appearances.
Even though I still saw them as weird the whole time I spent with them, I preferred to be with them than to be alone because the guys in my previous group had put it in my head that if you're weird, you're a freak with no friends or anything like that.
A lot of time has passed since then, and I realized that the people I used to follow so I wouldn't be alone, and who I was somewhat afraid of, were no better than anyone else. they were just a bunch of people who cared about appearances. I no longer care about other people's opinions because I've come to the conclusion that there will always be people who will criticize and judge you for anything, no matter how insignificant or silly it may be. I only hang out with people who contribute something to my life and from whom I can learn something, and since I started seeing life this way, everything started to improve. I started to have confidence in myself and I started playing sports, taking care of my diet and my sleep, and I started to grow more, look better, and I realized that when I started to look better, people changed completely towards me. They no longer bothered me about my tastes or excluded me or anything, and that's when I realized that the people in my class are just people who care about appearances. When I understood that most people are not worth it, I started hanging out with other people, and even though my social circle shrunk considerably, my life began to improve a lot.
Dealing with porn is difficult because I also had to deal with that addiction at one point, and that was when I stopped judging people because, while some things were too easy for me to avoid, for other people they weren't, and I experienced that myself with porn. There were days when the first thing I did when I woke up was go to the bathroom and spend three hours watching it, and then waste the rest of the day doing nothing. One day, I realized that if I wanted to change and be better, I had to have willpower. I started spending more time with my family, learning new things, interacting with all kinds of people to hear different life stories, and I started taking care of my physical and mental health. It's a difficult time for you, but believe me, if you have enough willpower, you can do it. Don't worry about other people's opinions unless they are trying to help you, because people will always find something to mock or judge you for. Sometimes I also felt lonely because my group of friends was much smaller than my previous one, but I realized that my new group were really good people. They cared about me, and when I needed help, they were always there for me and never left me alone.
No one else is going to come and help you, and the only person who can help you improve your life and change is you. Willpower alone is not enough; you also have to be consistent and disciplined. Believe me, if you start to gradually give up porn, your confidence will improve a lot, and you will start to stop seeing people as sexual objects and start to see them for what they are: people. Don't try to do everything in one day or all at once because there are so many things that you won't be able to do them all and you'll get frustrated. Start with small things like reducing the time you spend watching porn, seeing what makes you waste the most time and all that, and when you detect the problem, work to change it and replace bad habits with things that are positive for you.
Sorry for not having such good English. I actually had to use a translator to tell you everything I wanted to say because my knowledge of English isn't that great, so I probably wouldn't have been able to express everything correctly.
I hope my story and my advice are helpful to you.

Traducido con DeepL (https://dee.pl/apps)

 

[ndtruecel]

this might be long and sorry for no formatting im just pouring out my thoughts

i have a porn addiction that started when i was in fucking third grade and i havent gone more than two weeks in over 6 years without beating it. my parents dont trust me at all because i used to do stupid ass shit on discord in middle school and got caught watching porn so i have a flip phone. I have never had a girlfriend, i have never had sex, never even fucking touched a girl bro. my dad has undiagnosed hypomania where he looks for shit to be mad at and makes my whole family miserable for the next two weeks and he just has all day to find shit to get mad at cuz hes "retired" like a week ago he found a single fucking dirty dish in my room and he texted me this 20 minute voice message saying shit like you fucking slob, youre fucking disgusting, i never should have fucking had you you worthless shit fuck you life would be so much easier without you in it etc. he knows this is bad and around others he acts like some fucking saint so my friends say shit like 'your dads so cool' so i jst have to grit my teeth. i tried commiting suicide twice once in 6th grade and once a few months ago but i chickened out. i feel like i have friends but theure so fucking annoying and the only kid thats toleable just follows around this nonchalant asian hockey prospect friend in our group as well as with this bitch ass htn who i have to stop mydelf from beating the shit out of every tome i see him. my other friends are sped as shit and even they dont like me. they spend all lunch either playing clash or messing with this sped kid who plays games on his school computer in the bathroom. i dont want to hang out with the sped friends but i also dont want to be with those fucking fans who follow around the hockey kid. i also have some friends i know from football but im not great friends with them and if i tried sitting with them at lunch they might think thats kinda weird and i invite them to play fortnite or sum and they hop on but then like the next day i see all of them in a party on roblox or sum in a party and they didnt fucking invite me or anything it makes me so feel so fucking left out and sad ion even know why. i never get invited to hang out only for like in a big group like for a bday or something. i feel so alone i have nobody and the only thing that makes me happy is playing football but i cant for another 9 months and that is my one escape. my reputation at school is fucked cause of some shit i did in middle school and its unfixxable even tho i ascended from ltn to high appeal hmtn it barely changes shit i just want to move to arizona and get a fresh start at a new school with a new life and new people and new friends man thats all i want.
thank you if you read all of that

youve never touched a woman because youre fucking weird nigga. how much of a retard do you have to be to get caught watching porn. DNR

 

[dogeater420]

That's great, bro. I used to feel like the floating friend too. I knew everyone and almost everyone knew me, but I didn't really have any real friends. I was afraid of being left out, and I had to put up with being teased about my appearance, my personality, my tastes, and everything about me, because if I walked away from them or simply "rebelled," they would exclude me even more than they already did, they would make things up about me and tell everyone, and stuff like that. I was quite young when all this happened, so I don't remember everything, but I'm sure there was a point when it turned into bullying.
The following year, I had a problem with a member of that group and they ended up excluding me, making up nonsense about me and all that, and in the end, I decided to start hanging out with other people who I thought were "weird" because they liked anime and had different tastes than me, but over time I realized that they weren't actually weird and that I only thought that about them because the other guys in my group at the time also talked badly about them and made fun of most of their physical appearances.
Even though I still saw them as weird the whole time I spent with them, I preferred to be with them than to be alone because the guys in my previous group had put it in my head that if you're weird, you're a freak with no friends or anything like that.
A lot of time has passed since then, and I realized that the people I used to follow so I wouldn't be alone, and who I was somewhat afraid of, were no better than anyone else. they were just a bunch of people who cared about appearances. I no longer care about other people's opinions because I've come to the conclusion that there will always be people who will criticize and judge you for anything, no matter how insignificant or silly it may be. I only hang out with people who contribute something to my life and from whom I can learn something, and since I started seeing life this way, everything started to improve. I started to have confidence in myself and I started playing sports, taking care of my diet and my sleep, and I started to grow more, look better, and I realized that when I started to look better, people changed completely towards me. They no longer bothered me about my tastes or excluded me or anything, and that's when I realized that the people in my class are just people who care about appearances. When I understood that most people are not worth it, I started hanging out with other people, and even though my social circle shrunk considerably, my life began to improve a lot.
Dealing with porn is difficult because I also had to deal with that addiction at one point, and that was when I stopped judging people because, while some things were too easy for me to avoid, for other people they weren't, and I experienced that myself with porn. There were days when the first thing I did when I woke up was go to the bathroom and spend three hours watching it, and then waste the rest of the day doing nothing. One day, I realized that if I wanted to change and be better, I had to have willpower. I started spending more time with my family, learning new things, interacting with all kinds of people to hear different life stories, and I started taking care of my physical and mental health. It's a difficult time for you, but believe me, if you have enough willpower, you can do it. Don't worry about other people's opinions unless they are trying to help you, because people will always find something to mock or judge you for. Sometimes I also felt lonely because my group of friends was much smaller than my previous one, but I realized that my new group were really good people. They cared about me, and when I needed help, they were always there for me and never left me alone.
No one else is going to come and help you, and the only person who can help you improve your life and change is you. Willpower alone is not enough; you also have to be consistent and disciplined. Believe me, if you start to gradually give up porn, your confidence will improve a lot, and you will start to stop seeing people as sexual objects and start to see them for what they are: people. Don't try to do everything in one day or all at once because there are so many things that you won't be able to do them all and you'll get frustrated. Start with small things like reducing the time you spend watching porn, seeing what makes you waste the most time and all that, and when you detect the problem, work to change it and replace bad habits with things that are positive for you.
Sorry for not having such good English. I actually had to use a translator to tell you everything I wanted to say because my knowledge of English isn't that great, so I probably wouldn't have been able to express everything correctly.
I hope my story and my advice are helpful to you.

Traducido con DeepL (https://dee.pl/apps)

Thanks for sharing bro it means a lot.

Things have gotten worse since then my dad is leaving our family and he says its my fault because i dont listen enough. Its giving me hella cortisol spikes rn but hopefully it should be better when he actually does leave