Over the counter stuff I can take to be low inhib for a few months before I get surgery?

[Deleted member 2403]

I want to kill myself so badly cause I don't want to wait another day for surgery and I have school that I haven't attended in a while and nearly failed cause I'm a PSL 1. I need something that achieves instant results that can make me not give a fuck about looks for just a few months. Needs to be something that isn't obvious like alcohol and something that doesn't have horrific side effects.
I need something I can get from a pharmacy or shop right fucking now. FUck it I'm gonna down a fuck ton of cough syrup cause apparently that works fuck you all for ignoring my amazing thread