D
Deleted member 17531
Prince of Macrobia
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2022
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“You’re such a flirt!”
“Every time I see you, you’re with a new table of girls.”
“Why are you such a player?”
I hear variations of that on a regular basis, and the reasons for their misconception are simple:
I’ve found that to be even more true in college. As someone who has committed to staying out of the dating pool for a while, I can comfortably talk to girls I meet without giving false impressions or leading them on. They pick up on that quickly. I can (and do) help them with guy questions, and together we have a good, wholesome time being friends.
Is that a little unusual? Yes. It also means that I’m usually hanging out with a group of majority girls, and can regularly be spotted enjoying a lively conversation with this or that female friend. From the outside, it’s seen as flirting.
Now, when I ask girls who accuse me of being a flirt if they ever felt I was flirting with them… the only answer I ever get is “of course not.” And when I follow that up by asking if I talk to other girls differently than I talk to them, they all admit I don’t. The only reason they can provide for labeling me as a “flirt” and a “player” is the number of female people I talk to. Nothing more than numbers.
Once people come to understand that my interactions don’t have romantic intent, I am either labeled as “gay” or a “simp.” That’s alright. A large portion of my college residence already thinks I’m gay.
Regardless of what they think, my friends value me for who I am. They appreciate that I’ll listen to their guy problems and offer a male perspective. They appreciate that I’ll happily discuss various stereotypically feminine media (such as Hallmark movies or the Great British Baking Show). And they really appreciate that I’ll stalk the occasional Instagram profile for them.
I’m happy where I am. But I wish people could get beyond shallow stereotypes based on only the demographics of my friends and not the content of our relationships.
“Every time I see you, you’re with a new table of girls.”
“Why are you such a player?”
I hear variations of that on a regular basis, and the reasons for their misconception are simple:
- I’m very social.
- I have more female friends than male friends.
I’ve found that to be even more true in college. As someone who has committed to staying out of the dating pool for a while, I can comfortably talk to girls I meet without giving false impressions or leading them on. They pick up on that quickly. I can (and do) help them with guy questions, and together we have a good, wholesome time being friends.
Is that a little unusual? Yes. It also means that I’m usually hanging out with a group of majority girls, and can regularly be spotted enjoying a lively conversation with this or that female friend. From the outside, it’s seen as flirting.
Now, when I ask girls who accuse me of being a flirt if they ever felt I was flirting with them… the only answer I ever get is “of course not.” And when I follow that up by asking if I talk to other girls differently than I talk to them, they all admit I don’t. The only reason they can provide for labeling me as a “flirt” and a “player” is the number of female people I talk to. Nothing more than numbers.
Once people come to understand that my interactions don’t have romantic intent, I am either labeled as “gay” or a “simp.” That’s alright. A large portion of my college residence already thinks I’m gay.
Regardless of what they think, my friends value me for who I am. They appreciate that I’ll listen to their guy problems and offer a male perspective. They appreciate that I’ll happily discuss various stereotypically feminine media (such as Hallmark movies or the Great British Baking Show). And they really appreciate that I’ll stalk the occasional Instagram profile for them.
I’m happy where I am. But I wish people could get beyond shallow stereotypes based on only the demographics of my friends and not the content of our relationships.