slayer69
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And by relationship I mean an actual bond, a chemistry between me and a chick, not just some weird platonic haha yeah she's my gf type shit.
However this also scares the fuck out of me. The most important I've seen my parents fight and constantly fight numerous times and undoubtedly just even thinking about it peaks my cortisol, stresses me out and makes me feel unfocused.
I don't want to end up like that and I'm scared that I might, even the most self control wouldn't be able to stop me.
I have a fear of commitment on top of this. Every time I remotely even talk to a girl, it starts creeping in slowly and makes me feel like an imposter, "what if I'm not good enough that she leaves" and I know its the truth and I hate myself being right all the time, deluding myself doesn't work.
I wish I could stay calm and not be affected by all the mess and environment around me but unfortunately my mind is built otherwise, I'm constantly thinking and I can't stop having deep thoughts like this.
Do any of you guys feel the same way?
However this also scares the fuck out of me. The most important I've seen my parents fight and constantly fight numerous times and undoubtedly just even thinking about it peaks my cortisol, stresses me out and makes me feel unfocused.
I don't want to end up like that and I'm scared that I might, even the most self control wouldn't be able to stop me.
I have a fear of commitment on top of this. Every time I remotely even talk to a girl, it starts creeping in slowly and makes me feel like an imposter, "what if I'm not good enough that she leaves" and I know its the truth and I hate myself being right all the time, deluding myself doesn't work.
I wish I could stay calm and not be affected by all the mess and environment around me but unfortunately my mind is built otherwise, I'm constantly thinking and I can't stop having deep thoughts like this.
Do any of you guys feel the same way?