I’m tired man. I finally understand how a girl would make no difference in my life.

[bigchunguslover]

just get a shroom spore kit lol ur just lazy

or get tails browser

 

[traveler]

female only good for sex

 

[Deleted member 13626]

just get a shroom spore kit lol ur just lazy

Idk how to do it + I don’t live alone. But i might look into it. Thnx

 

[bigchunguslover]

Idk how to do it + I don’t live alone. But i might look into it. Thnx

alr my nigga

 

[Deleted member 13626]

@PseudoMaxxer do u wish to go down the rabbit hole ? (asking since u liked my comment but didn’t answer)

 

[Zonar]

I’m not happy at all that you relate, i would wish this to anyone.

Atleast your family talks to you right?

They do talk... I am not close to them at all though. My family has always been dysfunctional, and it kina fucked me up. It made me different compared to my peers.

 

[Kamui]

I read ur post and it’s real af but 19 is too early to quit. You might not be able to control all the bad things that happen to you but you can control how you react to them.

The people who’ve made your life shit are probably expecting you to rope, do you want to give them the satisfaction of being right? You should keep living out of spite for them and prove them wrong by ascending.

You’re only 19, fresh out of high school age, so you have your entire 20s ahead of you bro. Good luck.

25 is the max age to rope tbh

If you haven’t gotten your shit together by then, just call it quits

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

@PseudoMaxxer do u wish to go down the rabbit hole ? (asking since u liked my comment but didn’t answer)

you kinda scared me after saying i would rope after…

But if it’s only for cinematic effect then go ahead brotha

 

[Deleted member 13626]

you kinda scared me after saying i would rope after…

But if it’s only for cinematic effect then go ahead brotha

Well considering you are already questioning god and stuff, your awareness is raising up i doubt it will have a bad effect on you.

Most who react badly to it are those living in a coping bubble full of warm lies.

It can either make or break you. Make you realise nothing matters in this world, essentially you can be more low inhib, or the opposite. Nothing matters therefore you rot all day and spiral down. It depends on the individual

Dm me then, and i will slowly open your mind. I’m not gonna just dump a bunch of links or shit and then leave jfl. I really put in the time redpilling.

And unlike religiouscels. I don’t claim this as 100% true. Or x y z. I’m open minded and i hope this isn’t true myself

 

[vermillioncorefan]

The life between a 5”10 and 5”6 is day and night

invisible to invisible

 

[3virtues]

25 is the max age to rope tbh

If you haven’t gotten your shit together by then, just call it quits

I’d say 30-31 bc I’ve seen ppl suffer until then, then have a crazy ascension. If ur not a dilf or a moneymaxxed mtn by early 30s its over.

 

[ZaC]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

thats literally the life of most geneticaly non NT people

the only way to have a more normal upbringing is by being 8+/10 in looks (genetics not surgery)

if you are sub5 or average looking you cant afford being non NT

 

[funkyflamingo]

Can't talk about the shit you can talk about here with IRL friends.

talk to chat gpt

 

[MakinItHappen]

DoomerPoet.Com/Autist

 

[baboon593]

i get more pussy than you ever will in your life.

damn, aren't you swimming in pussy, tiktokcels larping about being slayers is truly comical

 

[Shogun]

I can speak for myself but having ties to the opposite gender makes a MASSIVE difference. Since i am talking and meeting with this HTB i am much happier, i have no desire for hatred or revenge anymore and we didnt even get intimate yet.

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

I can speak for myself but having ties to the opposite gender makes a MASSIVE difference. Since i am talking and meeting with this HTB i am much happier, i have no desire for hatred or revenge anymore and we didnt even get intimate yet.

wow. i’m talking to this HTB and she wanna fuck, but we live 300km away.

It will be only a couple of times before she calls quits for the distance

 

[Shogun]

It will be only a couple of times before she calls quits for the distance

what does that mean ?

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

what does that mean ?

meaning she will say “we are too far away to date/fuck, we have to pay 50€+ everytime to see each others and i don’t think it’s working” and i’ll be sad.

 

[Atilapilled]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

I relate to you deeply wish i could die in my sleep or pop some pills

 

[It'snotover]

Yeah i agree, no amount of ascension is going to make you recover from your shitty non NT brain and from what you missed in your youth that's why ascension is not only rare but also a cope for most, you'll still feel like an empty shell after all the years of being a non nt loser who spent his best days lurking incel forums while normal average guys never came across all of this and still have much better memories. Not even talking about females, but about memories with friends. I don't have many and i can't cope with this. But you are definitely too young to rope tbh, you still have the chance to improve your relationship with your parents and compensating for your past especially if you say you have a good face, wouldn't risk to reroll and ending up as a taller but way way uglier third world inhabitant

Dm me then, and i will slowly open your mind. I’m not gonna just dump a bunch of links or shit and then leave jfl. I really put in the time redpilling.

Pm me, I am interested and I already have a vague idea of what you mean

 

[JBWNeetcel]

you were roasting me in my threads but now I feel bad for you...

Don't worry, I will adopt you as my son and take you on seamaxxing trips with me


I'll teach you my ways of how I ascended.

 

[Just_a_Looksmaxxer]

i hope things get better for you

 

[cyprian_tomaszewski]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

MAOIs work well for NTmaxxing

 

[OGJBSLAYER]

Great thread OP, extremely relatable

 

[the MOUSE]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

do u have ai filter of ur face like xangsane? very curious ngl

 

[Deleted member 20399]

Why don’t you just turn to god

Cause he ain’t real lil bro

 

[Deleted member 20399]

Great thread OP, extremely relatable

Let me view ur profile son

 

[IAMNOTANINCEL]

yeah, i’m going to lithuania tomorrow night.

But still i’ll be working there but i’ll be with 4 new people in 1 house so that must be something right?

New place, new job (8h a day this time) and new people. Only 3 months tho.

I’ll need to find a new cope after, or just make money online

Meet up with @Napoleon de Geso

 

[plukee]

This is exactly how i feel aswell. Im ruined. Years of neglect from being subhuman and autistic has made me realise i can never truly love someone and blackpill exposure at a young age made me lose my attraction towards women. I read every single word of this and all i can really say is i hope you find your peace soon man. Don’t give up hope yet im still living so i can get surgeries when im a bit older and other stuff just cruical looksmaxxing things and that’s it. If you got anything else to talk on lmk. Also use a sign crushes motorist song for next thread bhai

 

[autistic_tendencies]

 

[BootySniffer69]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

hard read

 

[BootySniffer69]

I did, i did for 1 whole year.

He didn’t answer my prayings.

When i prayed for this one girl to like me, he let her bestfriend fuck her the same night we was talking.

Bro didn't you also say?

I finally understand how a girl would make no difference in my life.​

Also people have free will.

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

Bro didn't you also say?

I FINALLY understand, i didn’t back then dummy

Also people have free will.

Obviously, but wdym

 

[BootySniffer69]

I FINALLY understand, i didn’t back then dummy

Obviously, but wdym

I mean like you can't just ask god to make someone like you lol

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

I mean like you can't just ask god to make someone like you lol

isn’t god all mighty?

 

[BootySniffer69]

isn’t god all mighty?

Yes. Do you think he is?

 

[BootySniffer69]

I went from no one, to no one.

Too real.

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

Yes. Do you think he is?

yeah i think he is, that would mean he can do everything

 

[BootySniffer69]

yeah i think he is, that would mean he can do everything

Do you think your life would be better if that girl liked you? Or would you be a better or a wiser man because of it? Tbh I couldn't even tell you why or why not he didn't.

 

[PseudoMaxxer]

Do you think your life would be better if that girl liked you? Or would you be a better or a wiser man because of it? Tbh I couldn't even tell you why or why not he didn't.

that’s a good question…

I don’t really know. What that did to me was making me wiser and better by giving me reasons to become better.

If i would have got with her i would have become wiser and better too tho, by losing my virginity and learning what it feels to be in a relationship.

Definitely it would have not give me the trauma that i have to deal with now.

But i’ve become so much better out of that rejection so i don’t really know.

 

[BootySniffer69]

that’s a good question…

I don’t really know. What that did to me was making me wiser and better by giving me reasons to become better.

If i would have got with her i would have become wiser and better too tho, by losing my virginity and learning what it feels to be in a relationship.

Definitely it would have not give me the trauma that i have to deal with now.

But i’ve become so much better out of that rejection so i don’t really know.

Yeah, I get that. I wonder the same thing.

 

[mogstars]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

1. dont care
2. dnrd
3. youre autistic
4. water
5. get a life

 

[IanIachimoe2491]

Sound track to the thread


I can’t understand how people manage to talk to another person for whole days.

I usually don’t talk at all, you might not understand so let me say it again:
I go days without opening my mouth, not talking to anyone.
I actually thought that liking a girl and messaging her would help, but even tho i haven’t experienced it other than with girls on dating apps, i really get bored quickly of them.

The moment i jerk off, i stop checking messages at all. That says a lot about me and made me understand one crucial factor about my self:
I don’t care about social connections or love, my body just feels the need to release cum every now and then to feel complete.

I always knew it, my mom always told me i was an heartless monster, and so my friends i used to have.

I’m actually just a heartless demon, i don’t care about my family neither. If they were to die tomorrow i would shake it off after a couple of minutes to plan my next move to survive on my own.

I’m pretty sure this has been due to my upbringing: i’ve been bullied for my skin color and ethnicity since i was 5 years old. I needed to put up fights to defend my self, and that only made it seem worse to my teachers since they already thought I was aggressive because of me being arab.

I’ve always been alone since i was born, i was born because my brother wanted a brother. My mom and dad didn’t actually want me as they were planning on having only 1 child. That’s probably why i’m ignored and hated rn.

I hate them too, i don’t like them at all.
They made it always seem like i deserved to be bullied by them, that i deserved to be treated like shit.

One crucial event was my first love i had at the young age of 12.

She brutally rejected me for being short and fat.

My best friend at that time told me he was gonna help me, until i found out he was trying to hook up with her the whole time.

That left a scar so deep into my heart that i genuinely felt less love for everyone, then i got rejected another time, and another time again, and another, and another….

They left nothing into me, i’m just an empty shell of the human i was.

I have nothing left to live for realistically.

I cope by thinking that i’ll ascend and make money to make everyone and my family regret abandoning me.
In reality, no one will care. My family will probably leave me be and the girls and fake friends i used to have will have found their true love by then and they won’t even remember who i was.

I’m pushing through 1 last year of my life, 2024 will be the end of it all finally.

I tried so hard until now, i lost 20kg of weight and went from fat to shredded.
I became more intelligent and read a lot of books, i trained and became stronger mentally and physically.
I endured the pain of rejection and approached girls and became more NT and less inhibited, after the covid raped my inhibition and NTness.

I went from no one, to no one.

People still look at me but they see nothing behind my eyes. Those black deep eyes, a girl once told me it was like i wasn’t looking at her while we held eye contact.

“it’s like you are looking past me, at something else”

Idk what these eyes can actually see, but what i see is nothingness.

I will never have a kid, and if i will, that means i’ll be the most ruthless monster ever.
I don’t want anyone else to feel what i feel.

You guys always laugh at me for being 24/7 online, while this is the only place i can talk even tho my mouth is still closed.

I’m truly alone, and connections and people only fade away after a matter of time and they don’t matter.

I hope i’ll speak to god once i’ll die, i want to ask him why did he want me to live this way.
Why didn’t he help me when i needed it.

I can’t cry anymore, nothing is left in me other than hate for this world.

Why did i turn this way, that’s what i’m wondering. I just wanted to be an astronaut when i was a kid, and go to the moon and explore space.

While now i just wanna hang from a cord lifeless.

Thanks for reading, this was just some venting. It’ll be here once i’ll do the deed.

Pseudo.

sad story, I like seeing your comments on here I hope it gets better for you

 

[IanIachimoe2491]

Why would you feel resentment towards God? He is the only one who loves you unconditionally. Oh and Christianity mogs Islam brutally for many reasons

islam is a bad attempt of trying to write their own bible

 

[uglysub8male]

Since there’s no more hope it’s time to rope

 

[recessedchincell]

damn

 

[Deleted member 33112]

Real asf only hope I have to get a girl is hiding my traumatized brain and acting nt like everything’s always been alright obviously that doesn’t last long I need a girl as fucked up as I am if that even exist

 

[wollet2]

i relate a lot to this, mostly for the past years

i start to forget how i was prior to 2020

 

[wollet2]

Real asf only hope I have to get a girl is hiding my traumatized brain and acting nt like everything’s always been alright obviously that doesn’t last long I need a girl as fucked up as I am if that even exist

if i met a girl as a shit human as me id be so turned off