Over Is something Wrong with Me or am I just an INTJ / INTP / Aspie / Dark Triad / a Sociopath / Evil?

chaddyboi66

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First, a brief introduction.

My mind is always focused on the future and what I have planned for it, and I'm willing to accomplish my goals by any means necessary as I have a specific purpose I set out for myself with my life and no intention of ever deviating from it.

I fear the unknown only because I can't control or plan ahead for it, at least not completely or until it arrives.

Almost everything I do I plan out in my head somehow, even when I'm not completely aware of it and just assume I'm just going based on basic instinct alone.

That being said, I also usually tend to go with my gut even when I like to think I'm actually trying to think something through as logically or rationally as I can, though I suppose it's only fortunate my gut also usually tends to be right.


Relationships/Social Skills

However, I struggle with maintaining close social relationships with people only because they often tend to be put off by me, yes I'm aspie as fuck but I'm aware of social rules and can use them when I have to in order to try to win someone over.

So long as I treat it as if it were another task I need to complete, I'll try my hardest even if I'm not particularly naturally gifted at it.


Apparently I can also sometimes come off as very distant or cold, which I find kind of strange if not a little ironic when considering the fact that people also often complain about how it feels like I'm staring at them too intensely; wouldn't that then imply and make one rightfully assume that I'm perhaps just being a bit too intimate instead of too distant?

I should also add that I have in fact trained myself to know exactly how many seconds of eye contact I ought to give someone before breaking it, as well as which direction I should pretend to focus my vision toward before making eye contact again, I find this really helpful when attempting to lie.


Regardless, I also find that people often complain about how I demand too much of them or don't value them enough, which I find quite silly considering the fact I'd rather not even have to deal with them unless I found them useful to begin with- that is to say I do in fact value them or else I wouldn't bother wasting my time with them.


My Overall Mental Condition and Philosophy

I personally think I fall under INTJ or INTP though I'm not sure and am still very skeptical of these "tests" regardless.

I'm not completely sure about INTJ though since it is particularly rare, often mistyped, and would be exceptionally even rarer in my case as I probably have severe underlying undiagnosed ADHD/ADD. A combo like that would be almost as rare as real INTJ female.

But who really knows tbh. It could also be that I really am just that dark triad, evil, predisposed to some kind of sociopathy, am legit aspie, or maybe even a combination of all of these somehow causing me to be me.

I sometimes feel as though I'm not "human" in the same regard as everyone else, the way they expect me to be that is, then again I also sometimes feel like I'm not human even in the way I expected myself to be at times.

I realize I'm so focused on my purpose and goals that if one were to look any deeper there really isn't anything more to me, but even that doesn't really bother me to be quite honest.


I'm not even sure I'd really care tbh because I do genuinely believe my goals for the future to be for the greater good in the end.


Am I evil?

I also usually don't say any of this out loud for obvious reasons as that would entirely shatter any of the carefully crafted "relationships" I've acquired, I call them "relationships" but honestly they're no more than a means to an end to reach my ultimate goal.

Even now a part of me is still hesitant to write all of this because of how exposed it makes me but I'm still curious to know what you think of me and what advice you might be able to give me moving forward.

What do you think though, is there something wrong with me or do you think this makes me evil somehow?

Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm particularly dark triad and/or purposely evil or anything, it's just that I have something I want to do and they can help me with it so I really don't need them for anything other than just that. It's not like I even could use them for anything else.

Even if it's still sounds pretty fucked up, if anything at the very least it's still just the truth.


I know it sounds like I could legit also have some underlying autism and/or anti-social personality disorder in addition to whatever my "personality type" is but...

I don't think I'm on the anti-social personality disorder spectrum, that is to say I do in fact think I'm "human", because I think I did genuinely love someone once and people with ASPD can't don't do that.


My purpose on this Forum.

Every relationship I've ever created on this forum was to serve that very same purpose, and all of my evisceration threads served only to boost my reputation in order to give more influence and introduce me to any potentially useful users here.

People keep asking why I've stopped making Eviscethreads but the answer was so obvious I thought I really didn't even have to say it.

I might've convinced myself I genuinely had fun making them or I only did because I was bored, but they were ultimately a waste of my time and already served their purpose, should I never need to use them again I'll just bump one every now and then.


I know most of you probably don't know me very well but I wrote that "expose" I did above to try to give you a better understanding of me.

I tried to be as brutally honest as I possibly could, perhaps even the most honest I've ever been during my entire time on this forum.


My purpose.

I don't care what you think of me, and I'm only telling you this because I think you might be able to offer me advice about myself that could somehow help me with my goals.

My goals are to become rich and powerful in order to change the world to what I think is best so I can save the future.


Make no mistake, all that matters to me is my mission.
 
Growth Plate

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You're gonna get mostly JFL reacts for this one
 
Growth Plate

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Why did You Type like This in the Title?
 
G

Guerrilla

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First, a brief introduction.

My mind is always focused on the future and what I have planned for it, and I'm willing to accomplish my goals by any means necessary as I have a specific purpose I set out for myself with my life and no intention of ever deviating from it.

I fear the unknown only because I can't control or plan ahead for it, at least not completely or until it arrives.

Almost everything I do I plan out in my head somehow, even when I'm not completely aware of it and just assume I'm just going based on basic instinct alone.

That being said, I also usually tend to go with my gut even when I like to think I'm actually trying to think something through as logically or rationally as I can, though I suppose it's only fortunate my gut also usually tends to be right.


Relationships/Social Skills

However, I struggle with maintaining close social relationships with people only because they often tend to be put off by me, yes I'm aspie as fuck but I'm aware of social rules and can use them when I have to in order to try to win someone over.

So long as I treat it as if it were another task I need to complete, I'll try my hardest even if I'm not particularly naturally gifted at it.


Apparently I can also sometimes come off as very distant or cold, which I find kind of strange if not a little ironic when considering the fact that people also often complain about how it feels like I'm staring at them too intensely; wouldn't that then imply and make one rightfully assume that I'm perhaps just being a bit too intimate instead of too distant?

I should also add that I have in fact trained myself to know exactly how many seconds of eye contact I ought to give someone before breaking it, as well as which direction I should pretend to focus my vision toward before making eye contact again, I find this really helpful when attempting to lie.


Regardless, I also find that people often complain about how I demand too much of them or don't value them enough, which I find quite silly considering the fact I'd rather not even have to deal with them unless I found them useful to begin with- that is to say I do in fact value them or else I wouldn't bother wasting my time with them.


My Overall Mental Condition and Philosophy

I personally think I fall under INTJ or INTP though I'm not sure and am still very skeptical of these "tests" regardless.

I'm not completely sure about INTJ though since it is particularly rare, often mistyped, and would be exceptionally even rarer in my case as I probably have severe underlying undiagnosed ADHD/ADD. A combo like that would be almost as rare as real INTJ female.

But who really knows tbh. It could also be that I really am just that dark triad, evil, predisposed to some kind of sociopathy, am legit aspie, or maybe even a combination of all of these somehow causing me to be me.

I sometimes feel as though I'm not "human" in the same regard as everyone else, the way they expect me to be that is, then again I also sometimes feel like I'm not human even in the way I expected myself to be at times.

I realize I'm so focused on my purpose and goals that if one were to look any deeper there really isn't anything more to me, but even that doesn't really bother me to be quite honest.


I'm not even sure I'd really care tbh because I do genuinely believe my goals for the future to be for the greater good in the end.


Am I evil?

I also usually don't say any of this out loud for obvious reasons as that would entirely shatter any of the carefully crafted "relationships" I've acquired, I call them "relationships" but honestly they're no more than a means to an end to reach my ultimate goal.

Even now a part of me is still hesitant to write all of this because of how exposed it makes me but I'm still curious to know what you think of me and what advice you might be able to give me moving forward.

What do you think though, is there something wrong with me or do you think this makes me evil somehow?

Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm particularly dark triad and/or purposely evil or anything, it's just that I have something I want to do and they can help me with it so I really don't need them for anything other than just that. It's not like I even could use them for anything else.

Even if it's still sounds pretty fucked up, if anything at the very least it's still just the truth.


I know it sounds like I could legit also have some underlying autism and/or anti-social personality disorder in addition to whatever my "personality type" is but...

I don't think I'm on the anti-social personality disorder spectrum, that is to say I do in fact think I'm "human", because I think I did genuinely love someone once and people with ASPD can't don't do that.


My purpose on this Forum.

Every relationship I've ever created on this forum was to serve that very same purpose, and all of my evisceration threads served only to boost my reputation in order to give more influence and introduce me to any potentially useful users here.

People keep asking why I've stopped making Eviscethreads but the answer was so obvious I thought I really didn't even have to say it.

I might've convinced myself I genuinely had fun making them or I only did because I was bored, but they were ultimately a waste of my time and already served their purpose, should I never need to use them again I'll just bump one every now and then.


I know most of you probably don't know me very well but I wrote that "expose" I did above to try to give you a better understanding of me.

I tried to be as brutally honest as I possibly could, perhaps even the most honest I've ever been during my entire time on this forum.


My purpose.

I don't care what you think of me, and I'm only telling you this because I think you might be able to offer me advice about myself that could somehow help me with my goals.

My goals are to become rich and powerful in order to change the world to what I think is best so I can save the future.


Make no mistake, all that matters to me is my mission.
LOL
 
subhuman to mtn

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Bro I'm gonna be honest with you, if you need to "train" yourself to be social and have eye contact. It shows you are a bit autistic, have you ever been diagnosed or anything?
 
chaddyboi66

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Bro I'm gonna be honest with you, if you need to "train" yourself to be social and have eye contact. It shows you are a bit autistic, have you ever been diagnosed or anything?

Read this instead it's more accurate:
I got type 8 though what does that mean exactly?

The past few mbti tests I've taken tell me I'm INTJ, on the normies ones at least, but I'm always skeptical of them.


However, better MBTI tests like this one that actually account for cognitive functions tell me otherwise also tell me the same

So let's do some introspection because I suppose that's the only way to really find out:

I dislike not knowing because I can't control what I don't know, and if I don't know then I can't plan ahead for it which leads to chaos. Chaos interferes with what I already have planned for myself as well as what I have planned for the future because it makes me messy and less efficient.

I can tend to be rather selfish in the sense that I sometimes value my own goals over everyone/everything else and only make solutions to help me in accomplishing said goals, not necessarily for the benefit of everyone else because I don't seek their approval.

I also don't seek to help them before my own goals but that doesn't mean I won't often try to help someone if I can.

However, I'll also often use them [people that is] as a means to an end if I have to for practicality's sake since they might be able to help me.

My social skills were initially quite poor as I tended to stick to myself and be in my own world, but I only developed fake/acquired social skills after I realized I could use them in order to acquire useful people in the future to help me toward my ultimate goal.

I sometimes appear emotionally distant but this is only because I'm not particularly good at expressing them outwardly, I'm not necessarily a robot even if I look like one or if I'm really aspie/non nt.

Make no mistake, I might not particularly like talking to people or even naturally be good at it, but I'm more than well aware that it's still an infinitely useful skill to have in order to bring about my plan, or else I'd just be stuck in a loop getting nowhere which means I don't achieve anything in the end.

If I need to climb some social hierarchy as someone not naturally gifted at being NT, learn some difficult skill most people usually don't because it often takes too much effort to learn, or literally anything in order to win then I'll treat the task just as if it were another task I need to accomplish and I'll do just that and win.

I don't necessarily care about what I have to do or even how difficult it may be, because I'll still do it [like with learning social skills/faking NT] or find a way to do it, and become whatever I need to be if it's the best and most efficient way to achieve my goal.

Because my mission, my dream, just means that much to me, I really want to change the world for the better and this is my ultimate purpose in life so I'm going to do just that.


With that out of the way...


@whiteissuperior thinks I either fall into IXXP or IXXJ and I largely agree with him except I think my reasoning is more objective and logical Te rather than subjective like Ti, but I think confusion comes from my Ni as I do in fact have pretty strong intuition which can often appear pretty subjective as well.

This explains some of the confusion between Ni and Te vs Ti


The Ni Ti phenomenon is actually an unhealthy loop typical INFJ's sometime's experience, think @Xangsane, as their usual functions are Ni Fe

but then again the comparison of being an INFJ jumper vs an INTJ isn't that uncommon either.

However, none of my dominant functions are feeling or sensing related whatsoever.


So in summary, it took a while to finally conclude because I had to do quite a bit of research on the subject [cog functions and all that is, not mbti] just to make sure, but I'm now more or less in the fact that I am a Ni Te dominant type of personality.


I'm an INTJ.

Assuming I'm mentally healthy and not stuck in some weird loop that is, which may complicate things again.


Aside from my lack of study on the subject itself, another reason I was hesitant to determine myself as a "true INTJ" was simply due to the fact that I do have severe un-diagnosed underlying ADHD/ADD, and I've never heard of an instance where a combo like that actually existed out in the wild just like how I've never heard of a female that's actually an INTJ aside from maybe her.



I also really like this video as, although she doesn't necessarily go as heavily into the cog function concepts as I might usually prefer, she always does keep them in mind and the video really does a good job at filtering out most of the larpers and mistyped that go based off of mere stereotype.



This video also dispels a lot of the same problems in the same regard when determining true INTJs, but she goes further into actual cog functions than the one above.



However, this video is by far my favourite out of all of them and does a really good job at explaining what a true INTJ is, and it was only after watching this video that I was confident I was one as it really highlighted a lot of my own shortcomings while also explaining my thought process.



All in all while there is a sizable heft of pseudoscience unfortunately associated with this entire "personality" concept, I do believe there to be at the very least some truth in the matter regardless, and more importantly something I can use to address my flaws in order to help make me even more capable in accomplishing my mission.

The essay I'd written^ detailed a more pessimistic outlook of my philosophy which was more accurate when I was stuck in a very awful depression and loop, I felt like that for a long time.

I was trying to be honest but it's not very reflective of how I see things now, nor even how I did before my depression.

Just as the guy in the last video I put mentioned, I'm often hesitant to rely on others emotionally and for the longest time this really prevented me from seeking help even though I needed it. It was my blind spot, my flaw.
 
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Read this instead it's more accurate:

The essay I'd written^ detailed a more pessimistic outlook of my philosophy which was more accurate when I was stuck in a very awful depression and loop, I felt like that for a long time.

I was trying to be honest but it's not very reflective of how I see things now, nor even how I did before my depression.

Just as the guy in the last video I put mentioned, I'm often hesitant to rely on others emotionally and for the longest time this really prevented me from seeking help even though I needed it. It was my blind spot, my flaw.
what exactly are you hoping to achieve after finally finding the perfect label for yourself. your obsession and backtracking your entire life serves no purpose
 
chaddyboi66

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Bro I'm gonna be honest with you, if you need to "train" yourself to be social and have eye contact. It shows you are a bit autistic, have you ever been diagnosed or anything?
No I'm just INTJ and not naturally NT.

I never really cared for making any social relationships with people until I realized I could probably use them to my advantage in the future.

Training myself to learn social skills was just another means to an end for my ultimate goals tbh ngl.
 
chaddyboi66

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what exactly are you hoping to achieve after finally finding the perfect label for yourself. your obsession and backtracking your entire life serves no purpose
Perhaps you bring up a good point for anyone else, but unlike most of everyone else I'm looking deeper into cognitive function theory which is pretty legit when it comes to finding out how you really work as a person.

By doing so I'll be able to address my biggest flaws and become more capable in achieving my ultimate goals.
 
G

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No I'm just INTJ and not naturally NT.

I never really cared for making any social relationships with people until I realized I could probably use them to my advantage in the future.

Training myself to learn social skills was just another means to an end for my ultimate goals tbh ngl.
I got ENTJ 8w7 u mirin :cool:
 
chaddyboi66

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I got ENTJ 8w7 u mirin :cool:
I got type 8 on enneagram test but I'm unfamiliar with the concept tbh, and yeah I'm mirin pretty hard since a lot of people think it's almost like a more NT version of mine ngl.

However, although they share the same cog functions the order is pretty off so they're not as similar as most people might initially suspect.

.
 
chaddyboi66

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chaddyboi66

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What’s your psl
Not sure tbh.

I've always used irl scale because I'm not too familiar with how to scale things down to psl terms, as in my mind "5" ought to mean just normie although I'm somewhat aware of why psl might choose not to do this.

Either way, I peaked at HTN but descended pretty hard [at least 1.5-2 psl points] after a brutal depression stemming from the mess with my Oneitis.

However, I've managed to bounce back and regain some of my lost psl points but I'm still not where I'd like to be.

Because I already had a good base at HTN that should mean I'll be able to ascend pretty hard with surgeries if I really need them, but although softmaxxing could help me too I still want to try to maxx out my potential psl by as much as possible.
 
Deleted member 15827

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Not sure tbh.

I've always used irl scale because I'm not too familiar with how to scale things down to psl terms, as in my mind "5" ought to mean just normie although I'm somewhat aware of why psl might choose not to do this.

Either way, I peaked at HTN but descended pretty hard [at least 1.5-2 psl points] after a brutal depression stemming from the mess with my Oneitis.

However, I've managed to bounce back and regain some of my lost psl points but I'm still not where I'd like to be.

Because I already had a good base at HTN that should mean I'll be able to ascend pretty hard with surgeries if I really need them, but although softmaxxing could help me too I still want to try to maxx out my potential psl by as much as possible.
What happened with your oneitis do you have a thread? Also did that oneitis thing happen before or after blackpill cause if you were blackpilled you might have been more cold than if you were bluepilled is why Im asking
 
Magical Apple

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First, a brief introduction.

My mind is always focused on the future and what I have planned for it, and I'm willing to accomplish my goals by any means necessary as I have a specific purpose I set out for myself with my life and no intention of ever deviating from it.

I fear the unknown only because I can't control or plan ahead for it, at least not completely or until it arrives.

Almost everything I do I plan out in my head somehow, even when I'm not completely aware of it and just assume I'm just going based on basic instinct alone.

That being said, I also usually tend to go with my gut even when I like to think I'm actually trying to think something through as logically or rationally as I can, though I suppose it's only fortunate my gut also usually tends to be right.


Relationships/Social Skills

However, I struggle with maintaining close social relationships with people only because they often tend to be put off by me, yes I'm aspie as fuck but I'm aware of social rules and can use them when I have to in order to try to win someone over.

So long as I treat it as if it were another task I need to complete, I'll try my hardest even if I'm not particularly naturally gifted at it.


Apparently I can also sometimes come off as very distant or cold, which I find kind of strange if not a little ironic when considering the fact that people also often complain about how it feels like I'm staring at them too intensely; wouldn't that then imply and make one rightfully assume that I'm perhaps just being a bit too intimate instead of too distant?

I should also add that I have in fact trained myself to know exactly how many seconds of eye contact I ought to give someone before breaking it, as well as which direction I should pretend to focus my vision toward before making eye contact again, I find this really helpful when attempting to lie.


Regardless, I also find that people often complain about how I demand too much of them or don't value them enough, which I find quite silly considering the fact I'd rather not even have to deal with them unless I found them useful to begin with- that is to say I do in fact value them or else I wouldn't bother wasting my time with them.


My Overall Mental Condition and Philosophy

I personally think I fall under INTJ or INTP though I'm not sure and am still very skeptical of these "tests" regardless.

I'm not completely sure about INTJ though since it is particularly rare, often mistyped, and would be exceptionally even rarer in my case as I probably have severe underlying undiagnosed ADHD/ADD. A combo like that would be almost as rare as real INTJ female.

But who really knows tbh. It could also be that I really am just that dark triad, evil, predisposed to some kind of sociopathy, am legit aspie, or maybe even a combination of all of these somehow causing me to be me.

I sometimes feel as though I'm not "human" in the same regard as everyone else, the way they expect me to be that is, then again I also sometimes feel like I'm not human even in the way I expected myself to be at times.

I realize I'm so focused on my purpose and goals that if one were to look any deeper there really isn't anything more to me, but even that doesn't really bother me to be quite honest.


I'm not even sure I'd really care tbh because I do genuinely believe my goals for the future to be for the greater good in the end.


Am I evil?

I also usually don't say any of this out loud for obvious reasons as that would entirely shatter any of the carefully crafted "relationships" I've acquired, I call them "relationships" but honestly they're no more than a means to an end to reach my ultimate goal.

Even now a part of me is still hesitant to write all of this because of how exposed it makes me but I'm still curious to know what you think of me and what advice you might be able to give me moving forward.

What do you think though, is there something wrong with me or do you think this makes me evil somehow?

Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm particularly dark triad and/or purposely evil or anything, it's just that I have something I want to do and they can help me with it so I really don't need them for anything other than just that. It's not like I even could use them for anything else.

Even if it's still sounds pretty fucked up, if anything at the very least it's still just the truth.


I know it sounds like I could legit also have some underlying autism and/or anti-social personality disorder in addition to whatever my "personality type" is but...

I don't think I'm on the anti-social personality disorder spectrum, that is to say I do in fact think I'm "human", because I think I did genuinely love someone once and people with ASPD can't don't do that.


My purpose on this Forum.

Every relationship I've ever created on this forum was to serve that very same purpose, and all of my evisceration threads served only to boost my reputation in order to give more influence and introduce me to any potentially useful users here.

People keep asking why I've stopped making Eviscethreads but the answer was so obvious I thought I really didn't even have to say it.

I might've convinced myself I genuinely had fun making them or I only did because I was bored, but they were ultimately a waste of my time and already served their purpose, should I never need to use them again I'll just bump one every now and then.


I know most of you probably don't know me very well but I wrote that "expose" I did above to try to give you a better understanding of me.

I tried to be as brutally honest as I possibly could, perhaps even the most honest I've ever been during my entire time on this forum.


My purpose.

I don't care what you think of me, and I'm only telling you this because I think you might be able to offer me advice about myself that could somehow help me with my goals.

My goals are to become rich and powerful in order to change the world to what I think is best so I can save the future.


Make no mistake, all that matters to me is my mission.


6757
 
Elvisandreaa

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You just need to talk to other girls brother, your oneitis is not worth all that mental energy. I see we're both similar in this one personality trait, and talking to many women is the only solution out of this victim oneitis mentality :feelsokman:
 
chaddyboi66

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What happened with your oneitis do you have a thread?
I've made a few threads on my Oneitis not too long ago, but that was largely during my depression stage so I sound pretty unhinged in the way I spoke tbh, I'm too lasy too look for them rn though ngl so I might try tomorrow if I have time.

Also did that oneitis thing happen before or after blackpill cause if you were blackpilled you might have been more cold than if you were bluepilled is why Im asking
It happened just before tbh.


I wasn't ever "bluepilled" in the typical normie sense, as I've always based my opinions and views on how things actually are rather than just what I'd like them to be but I wasn't exactly even "redpilled" at that stage either, as the idea of "pills" itself was only something I ever attributed to 4chan-esque truther/conspiracy counter-subculture movements or even just the Matrix film ngl.

I began going into more sexual market based "pills" not too long after though, which led me to becoming more "redpilled" and completely throwing away any "nice guy" bluepilled concepts altogether, as it made sense that girls would prefer someone who had a better grasp on more dominant social dynamics.

However, I the seeds were already laid out to my eventual blackpilling once I became aware to the pua scammer infestation and heavy over reliance on muh game/personality over basic common sense, not to mention the entire concept of cold approaching was flawed from the start and merely a numbers game based on what I then believed to be just luck.

My search for more raw and unfiltered redpill ideals led me to the truest "redpill" one could find, a pill so refined and so pure it had actually darkened and become completely black in colour. This is when I was first introduced to the whole Lookism theory concept after stumbling upon the original "Looks Theory" yt channel, which then led me down the rabbit hole to Lookism and even og Looksmax around 2017-2018.
 
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I've made a few threads on my Oneitis not too long ago, but that was largely during my depression stage so I sound pretty unhinged in the way I spoke tbh, I'm too lasy too look for them rn though ngl so I might try tomorrow if I have time.


It happened just before tbh.


I wasn't ever "bluepilled" in the typical normie sense, as I've always based my opinions and views on how things actually are rather than just what I'd like them to be but I wasn't exactly even "redpilled" at that stage either, as the idea of "pills" itself was only something I ever attributed to 4chan-esque truther/conspiracy counter-subculture movements or even just the Matrix film ngl.

I began going into more sexual market based "pills" not too long after though, which led me to becoming more "redpilled" and completely throwing away any "nice guy" bluepilled concepts altogether, as it made sense that girls would prefer someone who had a better grasp on more dominant social dynamics.

However, I the seeds were already laid out to my eventual blackpilling once I became aware to the pua scammer infestation and heavy over reliance on muh game/personality over basic common sense, not to mention the entire concept of cold approaching was flawed from the start and merely a numbers game based on what I then believed to be just luck.

My search for more raw and unfiltered redpill ideals led me to the truest "redpill" one could find, a pill so refined and so pure it had actually darkened and become completely black in colour. This is when I was first introduced to the whole Lookism theory concept after stumbling upon the original "Looks Theory" yt channel, which then led me down the rabbit hole to Lookism and even og Looksmax around 2017-2018.
Fucking mirin your writing skills especially the part where red becomes so refined and reified it transforms to black.
 
chaddyboi66

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Fucking mirin your writing skills especially the part where red becomes so refined and reified it transforms to black.
It's an idea I've just heard said somewhere else by someone else ngl, I just happened to remember it and thought it made sense sounded cool tbh tbh.



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chaddyboi66

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You just need to talk to other girls brother, your oneitis is not worth all that mental energy. I see we're both similar in this one personality trait, and talking to many women is the only solution out of this victim oneitis mentality :feelsokman:
Tbh yeah, but it's not exactly that simple for me and goes way deeper than just that ngl.

I've already discussed it before with a few people in pms, but I'm not going to go into the exact reason why I say that just yet tbh as it's pretty fucked ngl.


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chaddyboi66

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It's an idea I've just heard said somewhere else by someone else ngl, I just happened to remember it and thought it made sense sounded cool tbh tbh.
The Blackpill is what you get when you take too many redpills, it darkens to the point where it all turns black.



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chaddyboi66

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chaddyboi66

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Rt-Rust1

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First, a brief introduction.

My mind is always focused on the future and what I have planned for it, and I'm willing to accomplish my goals by any means necessary as I have a specific purpose I set out for myself with my life and no intention of ever deviating from it.

I fear the unknown only because I can't control or plan ahead for it, at least not completely or until it arrives.

Almost everything I do I plan out in my head somehow, even when I'm not completely aware of it and just assume I'm just going based on basic instinct alone.

That being said, I also usually tend to go with my gut even when I like to think I'm actually trying to think something through as logically or rationally as I can, though I suppose it's only fortunate my gut also usually tends to be right.


Relationships/Social Skills

However, I struggle with maintaining close social relationships with people only because they often tend to be put off by me, yes I'm aspie as fuck but I'm aware of social rules and can use them when I have to in order to try to win someone over.

So long as I treat it as if it were another task I need to complete, I'll try my hardest even if I'm not particularly naturally gifted at it.


Apparently I can also sometimes come off as very distant or cold, which I find kind of strange if not a little ironic when considering the fact that people also often complain about how it feels like I'm staring at them too intensely; wouldn't that then imply and make one rightfully assume that I'm perhaps just being a bit too intimate instead of too distant?

I should also add that I have in fact trained myself to know exactly how many seconds of eye contact I ought to give someone before breaking it, as well as which direction I should pretend to focus my vision toward before making eye contact again, I find this really helpful when attempting to lie.


Regardless, I also find that people often complain about how I demand too much of them or don't value them enough, which I find quite silly considering the fact I'd rather not even have to deal with them unless I found them useful to begin with- that is to say I do in fact value them or else I wouldn't bother wasting my time with them.


My Overall Mental Condition and Philosophy

I personally think I fall under INTJ or INTP though I'm not sure and am still very skeptical of these "tests" regardless.

I'm not completely sure about INTJ though since it is particularly rare, often mistyped, and would be exceptionally even rarer in my case as I probably have severe underlying undiagnosed ADHD/ADD. A combo like that would be almost as rare as real INTJ female.

But who really knows tbh. It could also be that I really am just that dark triad, evil, predisposed to some kind of sociopathy, am legit aspie, or maybe even a combination of all of these somehow causing me to be me.

I sometimes feel as though I'm not "human" in the same regard as everyone else, the way they expect me to be that is, then again I also sometimes feel like I'm not human even in the way I expected myself to be at times.

I realize I'm so focused on my purpose and goals that if one were to look any deeper there really isn't anything more to me, but even that doesn't really bother me to be quite honest.


I'm not even sure I'd really care tbh because I do genuinely believe my goals for the future to be for the greater good in the end.


Am I evil?

I also usually don't say any of this out loud for obvious reasons as that would entirely shatter any of the carefully crafted "relationships" I've acquired, I call them "relationships" but honestly they're no more than a means to an end to reach my ultimate goal.

Even now a part of me is still hesitant to write all of this because of how exposed it makes me but I'm still curious to know what you think of me and what advice you might be able to give me moving forward.

What do you think though, is there something wrong with me or do you think this makes me evil somehow?

Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm particularly dark triad and/or purposely evil or anything, it's just that I have something I want to do and they can help me with it so I really don't need them for anything other than just that. It's not like I even could use them for anything else.

Even if it's still sounds pretty fucked up, if anything at the very least it's still just the truth.


I know it sounds like I could legit also have some underlying autism and/or anti-social personality disorder in addition to whatever my "personality type" is but...

I don't think I'm on the anti-social personality disorder spectrum, that is to say I do in fact think I'm "human", because I think I did genuinely love someone once and people with ASPD can't don't do that.


My purpose on this Forum.

Every relationship I've ever created on this forum was to serve that very same purpose, and all of my evisceration threads served only to boost my reputation in order to give more influence and introduce me to any potentially useful users here.

People keep asking why I've stopped making Eviscethreads but the answer was so obvious I thought I really didn't even have to say it.

I might've convinced myself I genuinely had fun making them or I only did because I was bored, but they were ultimately a waste of my time and already served their purpose, should I never need to use them again I'll just bump one every now and then.


I know most of you probably don't know me very well but I wrote that "expose" I did above to try to give you a better understanding of me.

I tried to be as brutally honest as I possibly could, perhaps even the most honest I've ever been during my entire time on this forum.


My purpose.

I don't care what you think of me, and I'm only telling you this because I think you might be able to offer me advice about myself that could somehow help me with my goals.

My goals are to become rich and powerful in order to change the world to what I think is best so I can save the future.


Make no mistake, all that matters to me is my mission.
could make some money. I have a similar mission bro
 
autistic_tendencies

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INTJs are giga non-NT and almost always guaranteed autists



but then again, I suppose someone with that username would say something like that...
The lonely successful peoples. Intjs make up only about 2 percent of the population supposedly
 
beatEMinGTA

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Probably

Aesthetics


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you are me. these (and even your typing/post/title structure) are aspie. im sorry to say that but emotional numbness, antisocial (psychopathy/sociopathy like acts and traits) are normal in aspies. you are not evil. im sorry
 
darkness97

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sounds like you're overthinking life in general. just relax. have positive vibes and it will rub off on people and make them gravitate to you.
 

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